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Wednesday, September 3, 2014

Dus Iz Nies in midst of "Ceasefire Talks" with Satmar

The editors of the three Satmar Yiddish Newspapers sat with the publisher of DIN this afternoon to begin a discussion on  a "ceasefire" that would last at least from Rosh Hashana till after Yom Kippur! After all, it's a time of Teshuvah and Achdus!



Here is the update as of this afternoon 4:00PM Sept 3, 2014

We gave each other hugs, and handshakes, and after devouring platefuls of Herring, Yapchik,  Kishke, and  Slivovic to wash it all down, supplied by the Holy Satmar ladies, the serious discussions started with all attending editors giving their side of what they thought would constitute a serious ceasefire!

So far, all sides are still far apart, except that  DIN  has agreed to stop writing the truth about Satmar, from Erev Rosh Hashana Wednesday September 24, till Sunday after Yom Kippur October 5.

(1) The editor of Der Goy (der yid), the yiddish newspaper published by the Zalonie Faction of Satmar, will still continue never to mention Reb Aaron Teitelbaum, the brother of Reb Zalman, in their newspaper, and will still continue the policy of never  posting any photos of Reb Aaron, as if he doesn't exist. 
They will continue their policy to write hateful articles against their brothers and sisters in Eretz Yisroel, who don't agree with their outdated and irrelevant positions vis a vis Israel!

(2) The editor of Der Blatt, the yiddish newspaper  published by the Aroni Faction of Satmar, will still continue never to mention Reb Zalman Leib Teitelbaum, the brother of Reb Reb Aaron in their newspaper, and will also continue the policy to never post any photos of Reb Zalman Leib, as if he doesn't exist. 
They will also continue to write hateful articles against their brothers and sisters in Eretz Yisroel, who don't agree with their outdated and irrelevant positions vis a vis Israel!

(3) The Zeitung, a "neutral" Satmar paper, that  is only "neutral" regarding the Teitelbaum brothers, will continue to hate everyone equally! 

Will keep you guys posted for any further developments!
I need Tums .....




2 comments:

Anonymous said...

Is today April 1st?!

Anonymous said...

As my husband, a professional shiyeh piyeh'nick who hasn't brought home a dime in years, told me when he saw this post , and I quote him exactly, " Nu,if there's nothing else to eat, then yapchik is also a shmendrik."

Cease fire or not, tums won't help a yapchik chow-down . It's the most overrated novelty since the 3 zeitungen .
My shverrer arbiter who lolls on the sofa all day doing word-find puzzles, running to an Eyn Yakov shiur and back on the sofa for an evening's Popeye series, knows about cease fires. " I am what I am," he imitates Popeye, "and that's who I am."
He's got a good heart and gives in to me, very generous with my money and never, ever questions my spending habits. Doesn't fight with me even though I battled him for eons to go find work. So now it's a cease fire.
So he teineh's that if everybody would just leave everybody else alone, spend more time ensconced in a plush sofa, and respect their Sheeetehs w/o cursing, Moshiach would come...Y'hear this Socrates of mine??
Big Tzi'leigger.... Lets me work all day and respects me a lot for it and never curses... Loves my sheeeteh actually... Moshiach hasn't come yet..
I say to him, " Bereleh meiner, It's not enough... Let the 3 zeitungen only report odd and funny news, long serialized stories that go on for years about some old shtettel or another and call it a week. No politics..Mazel tovs,obits R"LT"Z,
parties and where to drop off shaimos.'

" Tirtze'leh ,Please..stay out of it,just keep doing what your doing ( translation: Shut up and go to work already ) and I'll keep doing what I'm doing ( no translation necessary)"
A very tenous and fragile cease fire exists now between us... But y'know what?
Paraphrasing my Bereleh..
B'less brayruh, is a 2 months
3 tziganer... oops.. I mean 3- tzeitung- monte shalom, better than a 4 cornered hamentash..."

So what do say about my bereleh, heh..??? Nisht a groisser chochom, nish a kleiner naar... ( Not a big genius, not a small fool) Zull er zein gezunt..!!

Respectfully,

Tirtzeh Kol-Toov, subbing for Derby tonight..

.. who's buying a gallon of bawschtt ( borscht in the mid-west) celebrating the cease fire.

Kol Tooov..!!!!