“I don’t speak because I have the power to speak; I speak because I don’t have the power to remain silent.” Rav Kook z"l
Thursday, August 12, 2021
"Romance is Sheker" Rav Avigdar Miller
5 comments:
Anonymous
said...
This tape snippet is too negative by far. In the contrary, there should be love and appreciation for your spouse even after 20, 30 or 40 years of married life. The baseis of this love and appreciation is twofold: 1. Loyalty. Rabbi Avigdor Miller defines loyalty as "My wife is the best cook" ,"she is the best mother", " the best Balas HaBayis" (whether she is or not), and conversely about her husband. 2. Hakarat ha Tov. This is a major Midda any Jewish person has to perfection himself in. "HaKofer beTovato shel Chaveiro Sofo Lichfor be Tovato shel ha Mokom". A spouse must realize and appreciate what the other spouse constantly does for him. That will generate "Chen" in one spouse for the other. Independently of the above, it is a good idea for the husband to set aside a certain amount of "Sholom Bayis money", in order that the wife should always feel she has some freedom to spend this money on some extras. The husband should learn not to debate any sentence that he feels he cannot agree with. Let the argument sit with him for 48 hours without debate. At that point the matter is most probably moot in any event. Never go to sleep after a fight without reconciliation with your spouse. The best sentence to use: "Sorry, my dear husband/wife, I did not intend to hurt your feelings."
Too bad Rav Miller never experienced true love and romance in his marriage. Look what he missed: Mishlei (Proverbs) 5:18
18 יְהִֽי־מְקוֹרְךָ֥ בָר֑וּךְ וּ֝שְׂמַ֗ח מֵאֵ֥שֶׁת נְעוּרֶֽךָ׃ Let your fountain be blessed; Find joy in the wife of your youth— 19 אַיֶּ֥לֶת אֲהָבִ֗ים וְֽיַעֲלַ֫ת־חֵ֥ן דַּ֭דֶּיהָ יְרַוֻּ֣ךָ בְכׇל־עֵ֑ת בְּ֝אַהֲבָתָ֗הּ תִּשְׁגֶּ֥ה תָמִֽיד׃ A loving doe, a graceful mountain goat. Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be infatuated with love of her always.
it is a moshel, you f.b. am haaretz, thas's why it's called mishley. only reform fools take tanach liturally. see for example the gaon's perush, it is much deeper, than you childish imagination based on a teenagers emotions
5 comments:
This tape snippet is too negative by far.
In the contrary, there should be love and appreciation for your spouse even after 20, 30 or 40 years of married life.
The baseis of this love and appreciation is twofold:
1. Loyalty. Rabbi Avigdor Miller defines loyalty as "My wife is the best cook" ,"she is the best mother", " the best Balas HaBayis" (whether she is or not), and conversely about her husband.
2. Hakarat ha Tov. This is a major Midda any Jewish person has to perfection himself in.
"HaKofer beTovato shel Chaveiro Sofo Lichfor be Tovato shel ha Mokom". A spouse must realize and appreciate what the other spouse constantly does for him. That will generate "Chen" in one spouse for the other.
Independently of the above, it is a good idea for the husband to set aside a certain amount of "Sholom Bayis money", in order that the wife should always feel she has some freedom to spend this money on some extras.
The husband should learn not to debate any sentence that he feels he cannot agree with. Let the argument sit with him for 48 hours without debate. At that point the matter is most probably moot in any event.
Never go to sleep after a fight without reconciliation with your spouse. The best sentence to use: "Sorry, my dear husband/wife, I did not intend to hurt your feelings."
Too bad its too late to get Rebbetzin Avigdors opinion as to how it felt listening to him live 24/7.
Too bad Rav Miller never experienced true love and romance in his marriage. Look what he missed: Mishlei (Proverbs) 5:18
18
יְהִֽי־מְקוֹרְךָ֥ בָר֑וּךְ וּ֝שְׂמַ֗ח מֵאֵ֥שֶׁת נְעוּרֶֽךָ׃
Let your fountain be blessed; Find joy in the wife of your youth—
19
אַיֶּ֥לֶת אֲהָבִ֗ים וְֽיַעֲלַ֫ת־חֵ֥ן דַּ֭דֶּיהָ יְרַוֻּ֣ךָ בְכׇל־עֵ֑ת בְּ֝אַהֲבָתָ֗הּ תִּשְׁגֶּ֥ה תָמִֽיד׃
A loving doe, a graceful mountain goat. Let her breasts satisfy you at all times; Be infatuated with love of her always.
Rabbi Miller could only talk about himself. No one knows what goes on behind closed doors.
it is a moshel, you f.b. am haaretz, thas's why it's called mishley. only reform fools take tanach liturally.
see for example the gaon's perush, it is much deeper, than you childish imagination based on a teenagers emotions
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