Wednesday, January 17, 2018

A Gadol Hador on how to deal with OTD


Chafraud-Depravitch said...

I don't know much about this rabbi, but I like his approach here.
I'll try to learn more about him. He seems a like refreshing change to the current batch of toxic haredi ideology with which I'm too familiar.

Anonymous said...

So is the general rule now re recalcitrant OTD youngsters to be: If you can't beat them, indulge them to the maximum (and they soon will)? Well, good luck with that.

AishKodesh said...


I love this approach! Das is der Emes!

Reb C_D, This guy is, I believe, called by the some, the new Gadol HaDor.

Chafraud-Depravitch said...


Thanks, but please don't address me with stupid titles like "Reb." It stinks of Chabad memories for me. I'm an American, and the title Mr. is suitable if you feel a need to use one at all.

Also, "Gadol HaDor" doesn't mean a damn thing to me. I've long outgrown the need for 'great ones of our generation,' or god-men, or guru-guys (whether Jewish or from another belief system). Our own scriptures warn against placing men on pedestals.

He's just a rabbi who has some great sounding advice in this case. 'Don't drive your children away' sounds pretty sane to me. A dose of common sense. It doesn't take a genius or a "Gadol HaDor" to figure that out.

AishKodesh said...


Sorry about that. I can just call you Mr. C_D, I think...

Whatever you call this Gadol, he's certainly correct.

BigFatGetchka said...

C-D, if you don't mind my asking, what is your exposure to the "current batch of toxic haredi ideology with which I'm too familiar."
I don't know any details but it seems that your main exposure was through Chabad, which resulted in a horrific experience for you.
Iirc you said that you get your information on Satmar from this blog and others like it.

The approach of Rabbi in this video is pretty standard mainstream Haredi ideology. Probably most Rabbinical leaders in the haredi world, both Hasidic and non Hasidic, would mostly, in varying degrees, agree to what he said.
You know, the majority of Haredi leaders that don't get blogged about because their regular honest good people,law abiding citizens, want to help others etc...

Chafraud-Depravitch said...


As a parent I've had experience with non-Chabad, non-hasidic, haredi schools. One high school was quite bad, the equivalent of a Jewish madrassa with very oppressive hours, very extreme views, and very unpleasant people. One child was very depressed there, and the rosh yeshiva would call me up sometimes to tell me it was my fault. I proved him wrong by pulling that child out. The smile has returned to my child's face, and the rosh yeshiva who blamed me has seen it. People who were unaware of the situation have also commented on the increased happiness level.

I had frequent exposure to haredim as a very young child as well.

And if my original comment sounded like I don't know haredim who are not toxic, that's incorrect. I know some who I would (and have) gone to great lengths to help and who have been very supportive and kind to us as well. They are the minority of my experience (and study) of haredim, but dear to me all the same.

A side note about the school mentioned above: they were very anti-smartphone. Students were held to contract not to own one. In actual practice very few children honored the contract they signed (they just lied). My child resented it when I said the contract was stupid, but honoring our promise was not. As a reward for integrity, the kid received a very nice smartphone from me as soon as we dumped the school.

AishKodesh said...


Mr. C_D, I think it actually is a bad thing for a child to own a smartphone.

Chafraud-Depravitch said...


"I think it actually is a bad thing for a child to own a smartphone."

I think it's a bad thing to have a rebbi who tells kids that the Pulse nightclub shooting was 'God's will' against gays.

I also think it's a bad thing for a rebbi discussing near death experiences, to tell kids that non-Jews who claim to have seen their own religious figures are "liars" when he has zero clue what their conscious experience was. (Of course they should see our religious figures. /sarcasm)

I think it's a bad thing for a child to have 13+ hours a day consumed with an education that offers inadequate secular studies and essentially zero fun.

I think it's a bad thing for a rabbi to ask a child about their mother's mikveh habits (especially when the parents don't discuss such things with the child).

I think it's a bad thing to place our children's education in the hands of a person who thinks intensifying Gemara study is a cure for depression. It's also a bad thing to place the blame for the depression on the parents because it's just "impossible" to admit the yeshiva is the cause.

I also think it's a bad thing for the parents to endure financial hardship for such Jewish fundamentalist BS.

I think it's a bad thing to teach young men that their early adulthood should be spent studying and living off of their wife.

I think it's a bad thing to fear technology (smartphones, computers, and television).

I think it's a bad thing to raise rabbi-obeying, black hat-wearing sheeple, and not human beings who have God's gift of free will to choose good from evil.

Haredi schools have offered us all of the above bad things.

I'll go with the smartphone.

I wasn't raised with such nonsense and I regret trying to throw my children into primitive fundamentalism because it was sold to us as "authentic Judaism."

AishKodesh said...


Mr. C_D, I wrote you a lengthy and nice reply, but somehow it didn't get through DIN. Sorry.

Chafraud-Depravitch said...


It must have been a glitch with posting because I don't think you're capable of writing something that requires censorship. :)
You can send me an email if you like.

AishKodesh said...


Haha, thank you for the complement, my friend. Yes, it was merely a lengthy reply -- not a harsh one, C"V -- to your comments.

Let me try to find your email...

Gut Shabbos to you and your family!