Sunday, April 17, 2016

A Woman Will Replace Andrew Jackson On $20 Bill ..... Chareidim Outraged!

Image result for 20 dollar bill

Will the Rebbis and their Gabbaim reject the "lady" 20s' with the kvittlach?
Will the chassidim now have to pony up 100 dollar bills?

There are rumors that Askanim in Kiryas Yoel are scrambling to lobby congress to have the late Rebbetzin Feige Teitelbaum's photo on the $20.00 bill.....but these are only rumors...
The Cheshben is ... that since it was decided to put a lady on the $20.00 bill why not have a photo of a "tzadeikis" on it?
R' Aron Teitelbaum's rebbetzin has been ruled out because she speaks Ivrit, Lo aleinu  and is a closet Zionist!
R' Zalman Leib's rebbettzin has also been ruled out since she makes a lousy  potato keegel and it  tastes like manure!

The Lakewood aAskanim don't give two hoots as long as the bills are legal tender, they will take them! 
But they did discuss cutting out all female names from the entire Tanach ....and eliminating Taanis Esther because it congers up all kinds of evil thoughts!

The Editors of Yated, Hamodia, Ami and Mishpacha are meeting to discuss what measures they can take to influence Congress not to go ahead with this proposal ... they will point out that they have been in business now for over a decade and their readers have no idea  what a female looks like, yet they manage to sell papers and magazines!
On the agenda will be a discussion of the "shidduch crises" as well!
The editors feel that putting a photo of a lady on the 20 dollar bill, chas v'sholom, may exacerbate the crises, since the bochrim will now look at the bill and expect the girls they date to look like the lady on the bill! 
I understand that no Herring will be served at this meeting!

Treasury Secretary Jack Lew will announce this week that Alexander Hamilton will remain on the $10 bill and Andrew Jackson will be pushed off the $20 note in favor of a woman from American history, The Daily Mail reports.
The announcement will come around a year after an online petition called for Jackson to be replaced with a woman, and ten months after Lew announced he wanted to replace Hamilton instead. Rather than removing Hamilton from the $10 bill, the rear of the note will instead feature a mural depicting women’s suffrage, The Daily Mail adds.
Jackson will be ousted in favor of a woman representing the fight for racial equality, the source said.
The new $20 note won’t be issued until 2030 at the earliest.


Unknown said...

Dovid Lichtenstein would endorse Saint Hillary photo on a $20.00 Dollar bill ...
Dovid Lichtenstein raised close to $500,000.00 for Saint Hillary Clinton ...

Echter yid said...

O my god, can anyone imagine what will happen when a chusid will walk in to his rebbe with a ,pidyan,and the dollar bill will have a picture of a woman,? The chusid will be able to realize suddenly the rebbe gets an erection, wow what a problem?

Anonymous said...

Willy Wiesner said...

Dear esteemed parents of Torah Temimah,

I wish to address the facts surrounding a vicious rumor being circulated by the usual troublemakers.

Rabbi Margulies was reported seen this week at a church grounds in downtown Manhattan near the New York Stock Exchange, davening by the kever of Alexander Hamilton, the Treasury Secretary from 250 years ago, that his stock portfolio should come back from the dead.

This is what actually happened. Rabbi Margulies was booked on a flight to Hungary to make a pilgrimage to the kever of the Yismach Moishe in Uhel. Unknown to him as he fell asleep, the flight from JFK actually made an emergency landing at Laguardia. He hailed a cab that happened to be driven by a Hungarian speaking driver. When Rabbi Margulies asked to be taken to the kever, he was dropped off at the Church.

As soon as the mistake was realized, Yehuda Eckstein from YeshivaWorld immediately arranged a helicopter for Rabbi Applegrad to be dispatched from the Lakewood airport to the Wall Street heliport to extricate Rabbi Margulies from the situation.

The yeshiva does not and never has had a policy in support of doresh el hamesim and you can rest assured that your children are receiving the finest chinuch.

Ocean Parkway said...

That is a very good spoof of the actual letter that YTT President Willy Wiesner wrote the parents to deny & cover up Kolko's molesting.