DIN: I am bringing you a debate between Rabbi Yair Hoffman who is in favor and emailimbatorah who writes that there is no obligation to light a candle at the yurzeit or by the grave site , and he questions where this minhag came from.
Personally, I have a good feeling lighting a candle in memory of my parents, and I feel I'm doing something good for their neshama.
But having read Rabbi Hoffman's side, I am completely taken aback as he brought absolutely zero proof for his argument? All he writes is that a child has an obligation to honor his father even in death, but what does lighting a candle have anything to do with?
Rabbi Yair Hoffman for the Five Towns Jewish Home
It is the custom within the community, Klal Yisroel, to light a Yahrzeit candle on the day that a relative had passed away. This article will discuss the reasons for it, but first – a tefillah:
The lighting has no accompanying blessing, and I am sure that many people find themselves looking for something appropriate, some way to express themselves in a prayer when lighting the candle. This is not only true on a Yahrzeit but whenever Yom Tov comes as well and Yizkor is said.
The author of the Peleh Yoetz, Rabbi Eliezer Papo (1785–1828), did in fact compose such a prayer. Rav Papo was the Rabbi of the city of Selestria in Bulgaria. Bulgaria was a part of the Ottoman Empire at the time. The Tefillah of the Pelehe Yoetz is reproduced in Hebrew and translated below, as a public service.
הריני מדליק נר זה למנוחת ולעילוי נשמת אבי מורי (אמי מורתי) ____ בן ____
תפילה הנמצאת בספר אלף המגן מבעל הפלא יועץ על פרשת ויצא עמוד כ”ד
יהי רצון מלפניך ה’ אלקינו ואלקי אבותינו, שתקבל ברחמים וברצון כל מעשה הטוב שאני עושה, בין במחשבה, בין בדיבור, בין במעשה ויהיה הכל לזכות ולמנוחת ולעילוי לנשמות עמך ישראל, ובפרט לנפש רוח של (אמי/אבי/נפטר) _____. יהי רצון שתהיינה נפשותיהם צרורות בצרור החיים.
Behold I am lighting this lamp for the rest and uplifting of the soul of my father (or deceased), my teacher _______ the son of _______.
May it be Your will before you, Hashem our G-d and the G-d of our forefathers, that all my good deeds whether in thought, speech or action be done for a merit and a resting and an elevation of the souls of your nation Israel. It should be especially for the soul of my mother/father/ deceased _____. May it be Your will that their souls be bound in the bond of life.