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Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Weberman made our daughters into "zoines"



The horrifying saga of the Nechemya Weberman trial and the guilty verdict on 59 or 60 of the consolidated counts has caught the attention of the world.
If the allegations are true, as guilty verdicts tend to indicate, and as the existence of 11 other victims too fearful to step forward indicates, then what we have here is truly sickening.
We have a 12-year-old girl that did not quite meet the standards of the community around her. The school officials refused to admit her back into the school unless her parents pre-paid for therapy—to the tune of $12,900.
And then she suffers three years of horrifying abuse at the hands of the very “therapist” that the school had required her to meet with regularly. Imagine the pain of such a girl who must endure the sickest of acts—with the knowledge that no one would believe her if she told of what was being done to her.
The Navi cries out, “Bagda Yehuda v’soaivah ne’esasa b’Yisrael!” Our schools are named after our heilege imahos and avos. And the matriarch, Mama Rachel, is crying now. Of that there is no doubt.
Our schools have handed over these precious souls to monsters for abuse. And then, when they ultimately come forward, we vilify them and their families. We exclude them from our camps and our schools.
Hakezona ya’aseh es achoseini?
And this was aided and abetted by the kehilah leadership, rachmana litzlan! The kehilah leadership! Not even a brush full of the blackest of paint could put such horrors on a canvas!
Has there ever been such a parallel in our entire history?
During the reign of Nicholas the First, y’s, in Tsarist Russia, we had something close, when he initiated the heartless conscription of precious Jewish children for 25 years in the Russian army. The kehillah leadership selected the recruits. They were from the weakest of the weak, the young boys of defenseless widows. The kehillah had hired vicious people called, “khappers” who would do the vile deeds.
It was the Bubby of Yehuda Leib Katzenelson, who best related the dark history of this time, a history that finds parallel in our very own times now too:
“First I thought that the khappers could only be Plishtim or mizera Amalek. But no, my child, to my horror, to our great shame and horror, the khappers, all of the khappers were, in fact, Yidden. Yidden mit beard un payos! And that is our greatest problem. We Jews are accustomed to attacks, lies, libels, and evil decrees from anti-Semites, yes. This has happened from the dawn of time, and such is our lot in the galus. In the past, our enemies held a cross in one hand and a knife in the other and said, “Jew! Kiss the cross or feel the blade of the knife!” and Jews preferred death rather than conversion. But now there comes Yidden, fruma Yidden, who capture children and send them off to oblivion. Such a punishment was not even listed in the most horrible curses of the toychacha. Yidden spilling the blood of their brothers! And, rachmana litzlan, the rabbanim are silent!”
Her words, so poignant and so painful, describe the fate of this dear daughter of Williamsburg as well, who suffered not once but twice! Once at the hand of her tormentor and again at the hands of our community who so abandoned her.
The horrifying reality is that all this was brought about by the existence of a so-called “Vaad HaTzniyus!” Clearly, we need to do teshuvah. We need a teshuvah so profound and deep that it should shake the very mountains that surround us.
This op-ed does not mean to question the notion of an institution that watches over tzniyus within Torah communities. The need for an oversight committee to ensure that matters between the genders do not get out of hand is established both in the Talmud, the Shulchan Aruch, as well as in the codes and laws of numerous societies and nations throughout history.
What we are questioning, however, is how this particular Vaad HaTzniyus is staffed and operated. The revelations made in this trial and by various people who have been in touch with rabbanim as to their experiences are appalling.
It seems, unfortunately, that we have allowed this institution to run amok, staffed by corrupt individuals, who have lost all sense of propriety in what types of behaviors the Torah demands of us. The Weberman case reveals the tip of the iceberg in how low we have sunk in terms of corruption, extortion, and yes, violations of arayos.
If we look into the halachic sources, the officers of these organizations must be an extension of a beis din. It is sad to say that in this Vaad HaTzniyus, there is no affiliation whatsoever with the community beis din—they are gangs of self-appointed ruffians with little or no Torah training whatsoever, who use threats and intimidations to line their own pockets or to fulfill some psychological need to exert power over others. In short, the Williamsburg community must face up to what we have allowed to develop within our midst.
We have our own home-brewed mafia.
This mafia is not represented by poskim, rabbanim, or by batei dinim. Indeed, our Torah leaders are frightened to take a stand against their excesses. We need to take steps to remedy this situation, and we need to do so now.
Firstly, we must abolish the current organizations now and disenfranchise them from any power base that we can. The Vaad HaTzniyus organizations and everyone involved in them must be directly run by batei dinim and poskim. The beis din must have oversight over every individual involved in these activities and anything said and done must have the approval of qualified poskim.
Secondly, like in other areas of halacha, the beis din should have the ability to consult with trained experts in the medical, psychological, social work, and legal fields to assist and advise in their decision as to what is proper and appropriate. Violations of hilchos yichud with a 12-year-old girl is never appropriate, notwithstanding Mr. Weberman’s horrible and incorrect misrepresentation that hilchos yichud is not a Torah violation.
Thirdly, we cannot have the chillul Hashem of forcing clients, students, or others who may have stumbled to attend “therapy sessions” with non-professionals who happen to be our own family members. Therapists should only be of the same gender as the client, and must be unrelated to the one pushing the recommendation. As Torah Jews we must make every effort to avoid even the appearance of impropriety. Here we have what appears to be gross and wholesale “scams.” The chilul Hashem that we have all witnessed here in the past two years is of a dimension never seen in our history.
And finally, we must end the culture of punishing those who come forward. The menahelim of the schools that refused admittance to family of those who came forward must be either removed from their positions or severely warned. They must be identified and told not to do so again. We must learn the lesson of this toeivah that happened in Klal Yisrael and make sure that it never happen again.
In the early 1850’s when the great gaon and tzaddik Rav Eliyahu Shik of Grodno found out about the kehillah’s involvement in the horrible reality of khapping yiddisher kinder, he called upon everyone to “revolt and rebel against the heads of the kehilah, to tear the kahal building to shreds.” He himself ran with an axe in his hand in front of the crowd that had gathered, each man armed with an axe. Before they were stopped they had broken the iron bolts on the door of the kahal building and freed the three young men that were held there.
Our reaction must be to immediately dissolve this Vaad HaTzniyus which forced Yiddishe girls into the hands of a monster. Their names should be recorded and never again must such people be put in charge of such grave matters of responsibility. A vaad of tzniyus must only be direct representatives of choshuvah and leading poskim well respected throughout the Torah world. And no matter who it may be, which meyuchasdika person, we must never forget the holy words of Chazal, “Ein apitropus l’arayos—no one, absolutely no one can be trusted alone in matters of arayos.”

Monday, December 17, 2012

Jewish Boy laid to rest!


- A grief-stricken Newtown began laying to rest the littlest victims of the school massacre, starting with two 6-year-old boys — one of them a big New York Giants fan, the other described as a whip-smart youngster whose twin sister survived the rampage.
Family, friends and townspeople streamed to two funeral homes to say goodbye to Jack Pinto, who might be buried in wide receiver Victor Cruz’s jersey, and Noah Pozner, who liked to figure out how things worked mechanically.
U.S. Sen. Richard Blumenthal, U.S. Rep. and Sen.-elect Chris Murphy and Gov. Dannel P. Malloy are among those in attendance.
In front of the funeral home where relatives mourned Noah, well-wishers placed two teddy bears, a bouquet of white flowers and a single red rose at the base of an old maple tree. At Jack’s service, hymns rang out from inside the funeral home.
“He was just a really lively, smart kid,” said Noah’s uncle Alexis Haller, of Woodinville, Wash. “He would have become a great man, I think. He would have grown up to be a great dad.”
Noah’s twin sister, Arielle, who was assigned to a different classroom, survived the killing frenzy by 20-year-old Adam Lanza that left 20 children and six adults dead last week at Sandy Hook Elementary School in an attack so horrifying that authorities could not when or even if the school would reopen.
Mourners leave after Noah Pozner's funeral December 17, 2012 at the Abraham L. Green and Son Funeral Home in Fairfield, Connecticut. Pozner, a six year-old Jewish boy who, along with 19 other classmates and 6 teachers was murdered by a lone gunman December 14 at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.  AFP PHOTO / Don EMMERT/VINNews.com     Mourners leave after Noah Pozner's funeral December 17, 2012 at the Abraham L. Green and Son Funeral Home in Fairfield, Connecticut. Pozner, a six year-old Jewish boy who, along with 19 other classmates and 6 teachers was murdered by a lone gunman December 14 at the Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut.  AFP PHOTO / Don EMMERT/VINNews.com  
Family of Noah Posner mourning their loss a day after Adam Lanza opened fire inside Sandy Hook Elementary School killing 27 people, including 20 children. (Photo by Todd Maisel/NY Daily News via Getty Images/VINNews.com)Family of Noah Posner mourning their loss a day after Adam Lanza opened fire inside Sandy Hook Elementary School killing 27 people, including 20 children. (Photo by Todd Maisel/NY Daily News via Getty Images/VINNews.com)
Noah PoznerNoah Pozner
A woman leaves a funeral home before the service for Noah Pozner in Fairfield, Connecticut December 17, 2012. Pozner, 6, was the youngest victim of Friday's shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. REUTERS/Michelle McLoughlin A woman leaves a funeral home before the service for Noah Pozner in Fairfield, Connecticut December 17, 2012. Pozner, 6, was the youngest victim of Friday's shooting at Sandy Hook Elementary School in Newtown, Connecticut. REUTERS/Michelle McLoughlin

‘I WISH TO GOD’ CONNECTICUT PRINCIPAL HAD AN M4 ASSAULT RIFLE: Rep Gohmert

Rep. Louie Gohmert (R-TX) appeared on Fox News Sunday and one of the only voices appearing on any Sunday news show defending second amendment rights and advocating for a "more guns, less crime" policy in the wake of the multitude of politicians and media personalities calling for strict new restrictions on gun ownership rights.

Sunday, December 16, 2012

Jewish 6-year-old youngest of Newtown shooting victims


A Jewish child was identified as the youngest of the 26 victims killed in the Sandy Hook Elementary School shooting massacre in Newtown, Conn.
First grade student Noah Pozner, the youngest of the victims murdered on Friday, had just turned 6 years old Nov. 20; he will be laid to rest on Sunday.
Israeli news site Ynet reported that Pozner's twin sister is also a student at Sandy Hook but survived the shooting.
Rabbi Shaul Praver of Temple Adath Israel in Newtown told NPR Weekend Edition host Scott Simon that he spent Friday -- which he termed "the day from Hell" -- consoling Pozner's mother, who is a member of the synagogue.
"I told the mother that was grieving that I personally believe in the eternity of the soul, and I believe that she will see her son again," Praver said. "Other than that theological comment, the rest of it was getting her to think about taking a breath and not trying to plan the rest of her life out right now, because she says, 'What am I going to do without my baby?'"
Praver was among the clergy, social workers and psychologists who arrived at a firehouse near the school where many of the victims and their families congregated after the shooting. On Saturday morning, Adath Israel held a community prayer service.
In response to the question of why such tragedies hapen, Praver replied: "I don't know the answer to that. I never try to present a theological answer to that. I think what's more important is to have compassion, humanity and hold someone's hand and hug them and cry with them."
Praver, who ended his NPR interview with a plea for listeners to pray for the families affected, also said that another friend of the congregation was killed.

Friday, December 14, 2012

Second Deadliest Shooting in American History, 27 Dead 18 are children


London Charedi Rabbis endorse Alleged Sex Abuser

the "tzaddik" R' Chaim Halpern

by Failed Messiah

Rabbi Chaim Halpern allegedly sexually abused several women he was counselling, some of who mustered up the courage to complain to the haredi rabbis who head Kedassia, the umbrella organization of primarily hasidic haredi rabbis.
Kedassia tried to cover up Halpern's crimes, but eventually brokered an agreement with him that saw him resigning from the beit din, religious court, he sat on and from other public leadership roles.
Those resignations were thought by many to be temporary, a fig leaf to stop the complaining women from cooperating with police.
Halpern was allowed to continue to run the synagogue and study hall located in the building where he lives, as well.
That caused a group of Golders Green haredi rabbis to isue their own letter against Halpern saying that Halpern was unfit to be a rabbi.
But hasidm are hasidim, and Kedassia chose to respond to that letter with this disgusting proclamation in support of a man they know to be an abuser.
Here is the letter:


Thursday, December 13, 2012

Fishmonger Charged in Bleach Attack on Rosenberg


A Brooklyn fishmonger was charged by the police on Wednesday with throwing bleach in the face of a rabbi who is an outspoken advocate for victims of sexual abuse in the borough’s ultra-Orthodox Jewish community.

The fishmonger, Meilech Schnitzler, 36, of Williamsburg, turned himself in to the 90th Precinct station house around 1 p.m., the police said.
Mr. Schnitzler, identified in state corporate filings as the chairman of the company that owns Schnitzler’s Famous Fish, is accused of tossing a cup of bleach at Rabbi Nuchem Rosenberg while he was walking near Mr. Schnitzler’s store Tuesday. The bleach caused burns to Rabbi Rosenberg’s eyes and face and discoloration to his clothing, the police said.
Mr. Schnitzler was charged with felony assault, misdemeanor assault, menacing, criminal mischief and criminal possession of a weapon, Officer James Duffy said.
Rabbi Rosenberg told the police that he recognized his assailant as Mr. Schnitzler, the son of a man he had accused on his blog and call-in line of being a molester. Mr. Schnitzler’s father has not been arrested in or charged with a crime. The rabbi and the Schnitzler family are part of the Satmar Hasidic community.
Rabbi Rosenberg said Mr. Schnitzler spit on the street in front of him about a year ago. He said of the bleach-throwing: “What exactly triggered him to do that, I have no idea.”
Calls to Mr. Schnitzler’s home and business were not answered on Wednesday afternoon.
Rabbi Rosenberg has been an outspoken critic of the Brooklyn district attorney, Charles J. Hynes, accusing him of ignoring crime in the ultra-Orthodox community for financial and political benefit. He has also said that, in the past, acts of intimidation against him were not taken seriously by the prosecutor’s office.
The rabbi has asked Abe George, a former Manhattan assistant district attorney who announced his intention to run against Mr. Hynes for district attorney, to act as his lawyer. On Wednesday, Mr. George filed a request for a special prosecutor, arguing that Mr. Hynes’s history of being criticized by Rabbi Rosenberg constituted “a potential conflict of interest in this case.”
But Mr. Hynes said in a statement, “I will vigorously prosecute the defendant in this case, and nothing supports any compelling legal need for another venue or prosecutor.”

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

Rav Halpern from England may get away with sexually abusing women


After weeks of silence, the Union of Orthodox Hebrew Congregations has announced that it will convene a special rabbinic court to hear claims against one of its rabbis of inappropriate behaviour with women.
Rabbi Chaim Halpern resigned as a Union dayan and from other communal roles two weeks ago, after complaints about his counselling sessions for women, but continues to lead the synagogue he runs in his Golders Green home.
The Union — which has been under mounting criticism over its handling over the episode — issued a public notice on Tuesday.
It stated that the head of its rabbinate, Dayan Ephraim Padwa, was “in the process of setting up an independent Beis Din, consisting of prominent and renowned dayonim, to thoroughly investigate the allegations affecting one of our rabbonim”.
The Beth Din — which is likely to consist of three rabbis from Israel — will “hear testimony and examine evidence”, according to the notice. Its ruling would be binding on the Union’s rabbinate.
Until it delivered its verdict, Rabbi Padwa expressed the wish that “no further action nor declaration be made”.
But one north-west London rabbi, who is aware of the complaints, questioned the credibility of the Beth Din and whether any of the women involved would be willing to attend. “It is worth nothing,” he said. “It is going to be one-sided because no one will come to give evidence.”
Rabbis who have previously urged the Union to act “would not co-operate”, he predicted, because “they feel it is just a plan to whitewash”.
Rabbi Halpern relinquished his communal roles after attending a meeting at the home of former London Beth Din head Dayan Chanoch Ehrentreu, when a group of six rabbis questioned him over the complaints and heard testimony directly from one young woman.
An associate of Rabbi Halpern — who is the son of Union president Rabbi Elchonon Halpern — has said that the rabbi denied the allegations.
Amid increasing strain between the Stamford Hill-based Union and some of its Golders Green members, it is understood that a wider group of north-west Londonrabbis is considering making public their concerns about Rabbi Halpern. So far they have held back pending efforts to get the backing of some Union rabbis.
But one rabbi has spoken out. Dayan Yisroel Lichtenstein, head of the Federation of Synagogues Beth Din, said that Rabbi Halpern had “crossed the red lines of accepted rabbinic behaviour” and was “unfit to serve as a rabbi”.
In a bizarre twist, Union leaders this week received an email purporting to come from an American psychologist, “Ahron Hersh Fried”, which cast doubt on the allegations against Rabbi Halpern and suggested that he would probably be cleared .
A senior Union figure suggested that the email be circulated to “relevant parties… maybe even to whoever can get it into the JC”.
But it appears that the email may be a hoax. Rabbi Aharon Hersh Fried is the name of a psychologist at Yeshiva University in New York and he has made it clear that he is not the author of the email sent to the Union.

Blogger Nuchem Rosenberg attacked in Williamsburg


Early today Rabbi Nuchem Rosenberg was attacked on the street by the son of an alleged sex offender. According to reports the alleged assailant threw bleach into his face. Rabbi Rosenberg was immediately rushed to a local emergency room where he was treated and released.
The police took Rosenberg's clothes as evidence and according to a reliable source, the police will be arresting the assailant shortly.
According to reports, Rabbi Nuchem Rosenberg has continuously been threatened for many years due to his advocacy work, helping chasidic survivors of child sexual abuse. This newest attempt on his life is believed to be connected to the conviction earlier this week of Nechemya Weberman, who was an unlicensed counselor who molested a young teenage girl living within the Satmar community

Weberman refuses to look at his wife after being handcuffed

When court officers hauled Weberman away in cuffs, he didn’t even glance at his wife, the mother of his 10 children who’d been in the courtroom every day.

The jurors made an error of form Monday as they announced their verdict in the Nechemya Weberman child-molestation case, and it was a telling one.
“Guilty!” the eight women and four men repeated in unison several times, as the court clerk began reading each the 59 counts of sexual abuse of a minor he was charged with.
“No, ladies and gentleman,” Judge John Ingram admonished. “Just your foreman is supposed to deliver your verdicts.”
They’d only needed 90 minutes Monday to deliberate, and they seemed resoundingly united in their certainty.
Weberman, a 54-year-old man who’d touted himself in the Satmar ultra-Orthodox community as the go-to rabbinical counselor for rebellious teenage girls, sat stone-faced as the word “guilty” tolled like a funeral bell 59 times as Hasidic men davened in the pews.
When court officers hauled Weberman away in cuffs, he didn’t even glance at his wife, the mother of his 10 children who’d been in the courtroom every day.
It was something that made you think, “Guilty? Yeah, he is.”
Not even top criminal defense lawyers Michael Farkas and Stacey Richman could convince the jury otherwise.
Not with prosecutor Kevin O’Donnell showing them the wicked web Weberman wove around a lot of things, like buying lingerie with funds from his supposed charity for poor children.
Weberman’s answer went from “No” to “Maybe” real quick when O’Donnell said, “Perhaps this will refresh your memory” and he showed him the credit card bills.
Weberman also denied being caught by a witness with an erection while another teenage runaway, Giddy Gluck, sat on his lap. He’d had Gluck sleeping on a foldout bed in his office for two years.
So when Farkas asked Weberman if he had molested his 18-year-old accuser — a Satmar girl who’d told the jury he’d sexually violated her from the age of 12 — and Weberman said, “Never, ever,” they didn’t believe him.
Why should they?
Yes, it took this girl several years to come forward, as happens with many victims of sexual abuse.
And yes, there was no DNA evidence, as one alternate juror had complained after being excused before the rest of the jury deliberated.
And there was no video corroborating any of her claims.
But when these Brooklyn jurors, who have an unparalleled street sense, heard the girl describe how the overweight old-enough-to-be-her-grandfather Weberman sexually violated her weekly for more than two years while she was virtually a prisoner in his care, her story rang true.
And when they considered how hard it must have been for her to cross the secretive Satmar patriarchy — which even now is considering shipping recalcitrant girls off to Israel rather than sending them to licensed female therapists — her story rang even truer.
And as the word “guilty” rang out through the courtroom again and again, you knew that with each one of those acts he was charged for, Weberman had taken away another part of this girl’s childhood innocence, something that can never be restored, and something that she will have to cope with her whole adult life as she tries to have a normal marriage.
The loss of innocence is so enormous that the Old Testament writer likened it to being thrown out of paradise.
Weberman had to know this only too well.

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

Another victim of abuse speaks out....


LIKE IN THE WEBERMAN TRIAL, I WAS A VICTIM OF SEXUAL ABUSE WITHIN MY HASIDIC COMMUNITY, AND HERE'S THE TRUTH OF MODESTY COMMITEES

The Weberman trial verdict just came in: Guilty on 59 counts. But the Hasidic community's "modesty committees" make any sort of progress almost impossible.
by Luzer Twersky
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I can’t imagine what the victim at the center of the Weberman trial is feeling right now as the jury has finally returned, finding the Satmar Hasidic leader guilty on 59 counts of sexual abuse of a minor. And I know her situation was completely different from mine, but here's what we have in common:
We were both victims of sexual abuse in the Hasidic community. We were both molested by trusted counselors we were brought to because we were rebellious children. We both experienced shame at the hands of the so-called “modesty committees,” formed to regulate people’s masturbation practices, and we will both never be the same.
But I did not prosecute my predator. That’s because of the complicated, maddening, perhaps "Stockholm Syndrome"-like relationship I have with my abuser.
I was born to a Hasidic family in Brooklyn, the fourth child of 12. My father is a Rebbe. Not a Rabbi, a Rebbe. Yes, there's a difference between the two.
A Rabbi is a nobody. Anybody who studies the Bible and Talmud can be a Rabbi. In fact, even if you haven't studied shit, no one can stop you from calling yourself Rabbi Jane. But a Rebbe is different. He is a spiritual leader, someone with a direct line to God, a holy man. The Rabbi is the guy you ask if the milk is kosher. The Rebbe is the guy you ask to ask God whether you should have heart surgery.
My mother is a Rebbetzin. The woman whose godly job is to deliver food, clean clothes and babies. When all that is done -- and by "that" I mean once the babies have been delivered -- her job is to keep them quiet and at bay so the Rebbe can have his alone time with God and talk about the meaning of life.
Our home didn't have a TV or a radio. We didn't know who Madonna was and never heard of science. I never heard of Santa, Sinatra, "Star Wars" or cheeseburgers. Among other things that were missing from my childhood: English, American history, world history, Coca-Cola, bacon, Thin Lizzy and Macaulay Culkin. You get the idea.
My molester was my counselor, hired by my father. He came highly recommended. He was a Yeshiva teacher, and his father could best be described to be to the Hasidic sect of Bobov what Carl Rove is to Bush. His father basically owned tens of thousands of Hasidim. He pulled the strings, and they danced.
To a broken and unloved child of a family of 12, he seemed like a godsend. He told me what I've always believed -- that I was special. "Your parents don't understand you," he'd tell me. "They think you're a bad kid. The truth is you're just too creative for them." He gave me an exercise that I will never forget. He asked me to take a piece of paper and write about myself, my fears, my joy, things that made me happy and things that made me sad. I only managed to write down one sentence: "I'm a child who loves to be special and I love special things." That was all I wrote.
He was the first person who was ever kind to me. He also sexually abused me.
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The first time David touched me, we were sitting in the undressing room of the mikva (a ritual bath where men go to cleanse themselves before prayers and the Sabbath by immersing themselves naked in a body of water). I handed in my one-sentence homework. He sat me on his lap, patting my thighs and said softly, "You really are special. I think you're special." He hugged me tight and began playing with my penis.
We talked more as we undressed. I told him about how cruel my father was and showed him all the bruises on my body. He didn't say anything when he caressed the belt bruises on my bald ass.
I had a very rough childhood. My father is a good person, but a terrible parent. My mother is both a terrible parent and a terrible person. They beat me on a daily basis and never told me they loved me. 
Granted, I stole from them, misbehaved, and they didn't get their money's worth in paying my tuition either because I spent my days at school staring at the ceiling. But this story isn't about my parents. This is about the sick irony that occurs when a criminal and a predator is also the human being who is kinder to you than anyone else in your young life.
The abuse from David lasted for three years. Three years of having only one person who paid any attention to me. Every time my parents kicked me out of the house I would go and stay with my molester, and I just wished he'd adopt me and rescue me from my unloving parents.
Feeling love (or feeling pleasure, which I did not) does not somehow negate abuse. It does not somehow diminish the evil of the act of molesting a young innocent. It is an act of survival and an act of honesty.
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It was 1999, and I was 14 years old when I got a phone call at school from my mother. "Come home. We need to talk" is all she said. I was in trouble again.
Some time had passed since me and David spoke. I changed schools, and we more or less fell out of touch. My father hated David, believing David was responsible for the hatred I had towards him, and barred me from talking to him.
When I got home, I found my parents sitting on their separate beds. Their faces looked very serious and worried. I thought someone had died.
"What was the nature of the relationship between you and David?" my mother asked. "We're asking because he was found this morning in the mikva with a young boy in a very compromising position." My mother said.
I almost fainted.
They saw my face turning white, and they started sobbing. "OY GEVALT!" my father shrieked. My mother was sobbing uncontrollably.
They decided to call and ask that David be removed from the classroom and be barred from tutoring. The response they received was "You're a little Rebbe, we're a huge sect with immense power. Shut up, or we'll kill you." Case closed.
But then someone suggested we talk to the Va'ad Hatznius. They are the "modesty committee" which has been brought up so much in the Weberman trial. A self-appointed group of people whose job it is to police the community's masturbation practices.
If your daughter is seen in see-through tights, you get a threatening phone call telling you to make sure that doesn't happen again or all your kids will be expelled from their schools and no one will marry them, or they'd tell you that they will spread a rumor that your daughter is pregnant out of wedlock, thereby practically guaranteeing that she'll never marry a decent Hasidic man.
The reason for that is because your daughters revealing tights make men horny, which would cause them to masturbate, which makes them spill their seed, which would anger God, who would then strike random people with cancer. So, really, the modesty committee is just trying to eradicate cancer.
My father called a car service and asked them if they had a car with dark tinted windows. He didn't want a man of his stature to be seen in front of the Va'ad Hatznius' office with his son.
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The Va'ad Hatznius' office was located in a back room of what was referred to as "Avreichim Synagogue" in Williamsburg. We met with two men in a cramped study. One was a hot-headed screaming man with a slight pot belly, long blonde beard that almost looked bleached a high-pitched hoarse raspy voice that sounded like it was about to be lost at any moment from so much yelling. The other was a timid short man with a goatee. They were classic good cop, bad cop.
"Listen, Luzer! You have nothing to worry about! We are gonna go, we are gonna break down the doors at the Bobover Rabbi house! And we're gonna make sure this pervert never leaves his home! You hear me? You have no idea what we are capable of! No one fucks with the Va'ad Hatznius! You hear me? Trust me! We are gonna teach this guy a lesson!? the bad cop boomed, trying to show me a taste of what Bobov will get from him.
Nothing ever came of that meeting.
David continued to teach at that school and later became principal at another school.
Years passed by. I went away to study in a Yeshiva in London and continued to cause trouble. I continued asking inappropriate questions about the existence of God, started smoking and defied the elders.
In 2005, I got married. Like everyone in my community, I had an arranged marriage and was engaged after a two-hour meeting with the girl. By 2008, I was divorced. I no longer believed in God and left my religion, community and family.
Child abusers do what they do by taking advantage of children's natural trust of adults, and their need to be loved -- perpetrators profile the kids they molest on this basis. I guess I do have Stockholm Syndrome, because in a way, I still love David in some form, even to this day. But taking sexual advantage of a weak child in any capacity is unequivocally wrong and should be punishable (as Weberman will be) by up to 25 years in prison, if not more.
Like religion, just because it feels right, doesn't mean it is right.