There’s an extremely mean and (consequently) extremely funny video, “Weekend at Biden’s,” in which the propped-up, lifeless form of Joe Biden gets dragged out of his basement and pulled from event to event by two young woke activists.
“How long do we have to keep this up?” one asks the other, exhausted. “November 3,” says the other.
Relax, young woke-tivists: You carried Joe to Nov. 3, and according to most pollsters, a thundering victory awaits you. If Biden concludes his inaugural address with the memorable words, “Now can I go back to my basement and watch ‘Matlock’?” everyone around him will be happy to oblige.
Biden has been envisioning this day since he was a boy, but no one is under any illusions that this election boils down to much more than the question of which candidate is Donald Trump and which one is not. Biden is not “Hope and Change II: Electric Boogaloo,” he’s simply Generic Democrat. Generic Democrat has been beating Trump in the polls for nearly two years, and even this Geriatric Generic Democrat may therefore prevail.
For the media establishment that spent the last year and a half resolutely ignoring Biden’s long history of lying, bad judgment and allowing close relatives to sell his name to questionable foreign entities, not to mention his creeptastic behavior around women and little girls, President Biden presents a couple of problems.
One: Biden was a senator starting when Nixon was still president and is well-liked by that institution. It’s said that Biden is even pals with Mitch McConnell, and though the press can forgive Uncle Joe’s history of being palsy-walsy with fellow Democrat and onetime Exalted Cyclops of the Ku Klux Klan Robert Byrd, it can’t abide the idea of Biden working with a guy who shepherded Amy Coney Barrett onto the Supreme Court.
The minute Biden starts to signal that he has any interest whatsoever in finding common ground with Senate Republicans (especially if the GOP should be reduced to even a large minority of, say, 49 seats), the media will stop acting like his white-glove concierge service and more like spoiled Oberlin students presenting lists of demands to the befuddled old president.
Two: No matter what Biden does to steer the country to the left, the media will be daydreaming about how Kamala Harris would lean so much harder on the tiller. Suddenly, Biden’s brain freezes and mangled sentences will no longer be innocent “gaffes” but signs of incipient dementia. Doesn’t the 25th Amendment call for the president’s removal if he can’t cut it anymore? Maybe Biden, having achieved his life’s goal, should quickly step down for everyone’s sake, the media will suggest. Maybe The Washington Post will even decide the Biden family buckraking is actually worth looking into — and that it’s impeachable.
Biden may be elected president Tuesday, but if so it won’t be long before the self-described “transition candidate” gets told he needs to transition his way to a nice, comfy facility in Boca Raton.
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