Sunday, July 5, 2020

When the Rebbetzin is a "Transgender"

Harav Hagoan Rachel Zerin Shlitah 
Rabbi Rachel Zerin is one of the rabbis at Temple Emanu-El of Providence. She was ordained from the Jewish Theological Seminary in 2015, where she also received her MA in Talmud. While at JTS, Rabbi Zerin served as student rabbi of Temple B’nai Shalom of Benton Harbor, MI and the Flemington Jewish Community Center in NJ, intern at Rutgers Hillel, and High Holiday rabbi/cantor at Syracuse University Hillel and Temple Aliyah of Needham, MA. Additionally, she completed a unit of Clinical Pastoral Education through JTS at the YM&WHA, where she offered pastoral counseling to seniors.

and the Rabbis "Wife "...now the Rebbitzen Samantha , the "tznuah" .... who was "Sam" just a few weeks ago,..
In our circles, and until a few years ago the entire world, a story like this, would make us burst out laughing ........


A virile Jewish guy with a full bushy beard named Sam Zerin marries a nice Jewish girl in good faith and they have a child together ....
The wife, Rachel Zerin, a Chazzon, earned her BA in "voice Performance & Religion" from Syracuse University then gets  a Masters in Talmud and goes on to become a "rabbi," ..and is basically an accomplished young lady.

Her husband who cannot make a living, decides to teach Yiddish, a language he never spoke before in his entire life, to progressive leftists Jews who will never speak it, and one nice sunny day decides that he is really a girl and wants to use the Ladies bathroom......
I guess if you are not busy, you have time to think all kinds of crazy thoughts...

His wife, the Rabbi, is forced to send an email to her congregation in which she writes:
“Over the past several years, Sam has been exploring Sam’s gender identity,” this has been a journey for both of us, full of introspection, learning, and growth. Through this journey, we have come to realize that, although Sam was raised as a boy, she is in fact a woman, and "she" is ready to begin living "her" life publicly as such.”

So Rabbi Rachel Zerin now also a poisek, paskened le'halacha that Sam is a girl,,, and that's that! She should know because she had a child with him..

I know she was forced to send that email since the congregation followed up with an email stating:

" in order to maintain privacy, the couple asked congregants not to ask them personal questions or offer unsolicited advice"

I cannot wait until the good rabbi comes out with her own "shaalos utshuvois" ... I will be on line to buy it!


As far as where he will "pish" ...

Don't you worry, the shul has it all figured out...

 Senior Rabbi Michael Fell said :

"I think it did heighten a desire in our congregation for us to reevaluate bathrooms and reevaluate accessibility issues throughout the building.”

Below  is a Utube clip of Sam reading a book in Yiddish... and "HER" entire story after the break...


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  in JTA
DIN added "quotation" marks on all pro-nouns... because as far as DIN knows, Sam still has his male parts!


Samantha Zerin headed home from a Yiddish class "she" had taught as part of "her" synagogue’s adult education program on the evening of Dec. 19 and knew "her" life was about to change. 

That evening, the 775 families at Temple Emanu-El would be getting a message that "she" knew would surprise some of the people "she" had gotten to know since joining the community 3 1/2 years earlier.

“Over the past several years, Sam has been exploring Sam’s gender identity,” read a message sent to the congregation from Samantha and "her" wife, Rachel.
 “This has been a journey for both of us, full of introspection, learning, and growth. Through this journey, we have come to realize that, although Sam was raised as a boy, she is in fact a woman, and "she" is ready to begin living "her" life publicly as such.”

The email marked the culmination of a years-long process in Zerin’s life — a rebirth, almost, from the gender identity in which "she" had been raised to the full expression of the one "she" had come to understand had always been inside "her."

It also marked a significant moment for American synagogues:
 Rachel Zerin is the associate rabbi at Temple Emanu-El, a Conservative congregation in Providence, Rhode Island. Samantha Zerin had looked into whether there were any other spouses of congregational rabbis who transitioned whom "she" could contact for support. "She" wasn’t able to find any.

The 33-year-old Yiddish and music teacher and poet had already shaved "her" beard, grew out "her" hair and come out as trangender to "her" wife, family and close friends. Now "she" would announce "herself" as a rebbetzin.

“The rabbi’s spouse is a very public figure, and everywhere I go in our community, people know who I am,” Zerin said. “It’s kind of tongue in cheek to say there are eyes everywhere, but there really are, whether I go to the gym or I’m at the grocery store.”

Rabbis’ spouses occupy high-profile roles in Jewish community. Traditionally the rabbi’s wife, or rebbetzin, would not only cook for Shabbat and holiday dinners but teach classes and offer advice to the women of the congregation. That has changed in the non-Orthodox world, where people of all genders can now become rabbis, but the role of a rabbi’s spouse remains a prominent role, said Shuly Rubin Schwartz, a historian and the incoming chancellor of the Jewish Theological Seminary.

“It’s certainly true that rabbis are public figures, and there’s this also kind of sociological term of rabbis being symbolic exemplars — they’re supposed to live out the values that everyone else is in theory aspiring to live towards — and often the rabbi’s family could get caught up to that set of expectations,” said Schwartz, who has done research on the role of the rebbetzin.

Because of all of this, Zerin knew that "her" coming-out process needed to happen carefully. On the one hand, "she" knew that acceptance of transgender people outside the Orthodox world has become widespread. 

The ReformReconstructionist and Conservative movements all adopted resolutions supporting the full inclusion of transgender people in Jewish communities in the past five years, and transgender people — like other members of the LGBTQ community — are gaining greater visibility and increasingly taking on leadership roles in synagogues and other community institutions.

On the other hand, Zerin knew "her" transition ceased to be a private matter because of her family’s role in the community.

“When I came out as transgender, as a woman, then all of a sudden that meant that one of rabbis of this community, who is a woman, is now married to a woman and that’s a big deal,” "she" said.
 “So in a sense, when I came out as trans, I was coming out as myself, as a woman, and forcing my wife along with me. And for that reason, it had to be a dialogue with my wife about when we would do this, and also with the leadership of the synagogue.”

The message to the congregation shared Zerin’s new name and pronouns and said congregants “may also notice changes to Sam’s clothing and appearance.” But in order to maintain privacy, the couple also asked congregants not to ask them personal questions or offer unsolicited advice.

As a rabbinic family, the line between public and private is frequently blurred, but it was important to maintain some privacy, Rachel Zerin said.

“The lines of what is my public life are very different than for most professionals, in the sense that many aspects of my family are public life,” she said. “Pre-pandemic times, we had people over for Shabbat dinner, and showing what we do in our home to community members is part of my role as a rabbi and I embrace that, but there are still boundaries.”

Samantha Zerin’s coming-out was many years in the making. Raised as a boy, "she" never felt drawn to typically masculine things. With time, "she" also started feeling uncomfortable with "her" gender in general.
“For my whole life, everything I said, everything I did, everything I wrote, everything I did in my life was always under the fear that I would be perceived as too feminine,” "she" said.

Zerin never considered that "she" might be transgender because the image "she" had in her mind of transgender women was one riddled with stereotypes.

”My models for transgender women were these characters in movies who would dress up and dance in secret, and then they would be found out and it would be embarrassing,” "she" recalled. “It was this really embarrassing thing and we were meant to laugh at them. The man in the dress is this stock figure in films for getting us to laugh.”
"She" began actively questioning her gender 2 1/2 years ago and last year saw a therapist specializing in gender identity for the first time. The first session was transformative.

“She gave me permission to admit to myself what I had been so afraid to admit, which is that that I’m transgender,” Zerin said.
"She" immediately came out to "her" wife, who "she" said was supportive. But it took seven months, and ongoing conversation with the synagogue’s leadership, before "she" was ready to send that email.

During that time, Zerin created a Twitter account and a blog using a female pseudonym, Shuli Elisheva. "She" would write about "her"struggles with "her" gender — including by writing poems in Yiddish, a language that "she" speaks fluently and is raising "her" 5-year-old son to speak.
Online, Zerin was able to find a community with other transgender women. "She" also found that writing in Yiddish resonated on an even deeper level as "she" felt a similarity between the language and "her" gender transition.

“I didn’t grow up speaking Yiddish. I grew up with Yiddish words around the house mixed into our English, but I never knew it was possible — just as I never knew it was possible for me to become a woman — I never realized it was possible for me to become a Yiddish speaker,” "she" said.

Writing under a pseudonym allowed "her" to express "herself" without worrying about how "she" would be perceived. Coming out to the community meant that layer of comfort was gone.
But in the end, "her" announcement was well received both by "her" own community and the larger Jewish community in Providence. A Facebook post generated hundreds of likes and comments responses, all encouraging, from people around the world and close to home
“If there is a specific way we can lend support in our community of which we aren’t already aware, just let me know,” one Temple Emanu-El congregant wrote. “See you Shabbos.”

Zerin said "she" was received “very, very positively.”
“I was flooded with support. People really respected our request for privacy,” "she" said.

Rachel Zerin found that "her" worries about how the community would respond did not play out.
“There really haven’t been any issues,” "she" said. “I think all of the anxiety was self-created and the lead-up was much worse than the actual coming out, at least for me.”

The positive response in Providence’s wider Jewish community included Congregation Beth Sholom, a local Orthodox synagogue. The 100-household synagogue has around 10 people who have come out as LGBTQ in the last decade, which has helped shift community members’ views.
Still, for many members, Zerin’s coming-out was the their first experience grappling with the issue of transgender rights on a personal level, said Rabby Barry Dolinger.

“For a lot of people, it’s been their own process of actually coming to terms with the issue not on a national or political level, but on a human level. And that’s for how many people, hearts and minds are changed when it’s not an issue, it’s a friend,” said Dolinger, who emailed Zerin a few days after she came out to express his support.

At Temple Emanu-El, where Rachel Zerin works, her wife’s transition has helped push the synagogue to be more inclusive, said its senior rabbi, Michael Fel.

“For years, I think we’ve tried being a place that’s opening and welcoming and accepting of everyone, so I think the community was sort of primed for when she made her announcement — a lot of people said OK,” he said. “We understood that’s part of the people who are in our community, so I don’t think there were any challenges. But I think it did heighten a desire in our congregation for us to reevaluate bathrooms and reevaluate accessibility issues throughout the building.”

Though Temple Emanu-El has a one gender-neutral bathroom, the leadership is in the process of adding an additional one in order to accommodate those who may not feel comfortable going to the men’s or women’s rooms — something that in the past was true for Samantha Zerin.

Zerin said it was transformational for "her" to connect with other transgender women online and see how through hormone therapy they were able to appear feminine. "She" now hopes that "she" can inspire others in similar situations — including partners of rabbis, the people "she" was unable to gain counsel from during "her" own transition — and specifically asked for a photo of "her" before "her" transition to be published alongside one of "her" today to show others that it is possible.
“If I had known all of that 20 years earlier, who knows, I may have transitioned 20 years ago,” "she" said. “I was never aware it was a possibility, and how can you really long for something that you don’t even know is really a possibility?”

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14 comments:

Zako said...

Which one of these two clowns go to the mikva every months ?

The Kapo Challenge said...

https://twitter.com/EzraFriedlander/status/1278690068421652480

Unknown said...

This is sick. Commenting on a person's private life in such a slanderous and unprovoke way is disgusting maybe reflect on yourself and think of why you need to come after others. Because there's something seriously wrong with you

Anonymous said...

I can’t believe you kept putting her pronouns into quotation marks everything single time. She is valid, she is allowed to change her pronouns without people actually judging her and evading every possibility to treat her with respect. This is disgusting.

Dusiznies said...

6:44 & 11:00Pm
The one "sick" is the meshiginar that should be in a funny farm, ASAP.
It's no longer HIS "private life" when both HIM & his wis poor wife send an email to the entire congregation and then allow themselves to be interviewed, to the press.
There is "something seriously wrong" with a guy who has a compulsion to think that it is Purim every day..
"she is valid?" to whom....? people that are so sick that think they are a different gender need to be hospitalised and shouldn't be allowed in bathrooms that little girls go into....
"people actually judging her?' Yes when you put your male organs publicly into panties ... we "judge you" absolutely. "She should be treated with respect"? If you don't respect yourself, don't expect respect from others..
"this is disgusting" .... yes that is the only thing we both agree ,,
it is "disgusting"

amschwartz said...

The fact that you thought this was at all okay to write deeply saddens and anger me, and if it doesn't sadden and anger you then you should reevaluate your values. Samantha has done nothing to you, nothing that even remotely affects you, nothing but try and live her life with kindness and joy. What is hateful to you, do not do to your neighbor. Your approach throughout this entire article belies you profound misunderstanding of Judaism and I hope you find the strength and humility to reassess how you conduct yourself and treat all other women you come across with more kindness and basic human respect than you have afforded Samantha.

amschwartz said...

Please reevaluate how you treat people online and in real life. As Jews we are supposed to live our life with kindness and respect for other human beings and seek understanding when we lack it. Surely if you understood the least bit about any of these values you would know that your comments are highly inappropriate and cruel. Samantha has done nothing to harm you and I hope you will seek to further educate yourself on the struggles she faces and that you can find empathy and respect for her and all others you treat in such a way. Your comments are more telling about who you are as a person than they are reflective of who Samantha is and I hope you will reflect on that in the future before posting something so senselessly cruel and ignorant.

Arafat said...

11:00
He is one lucky guy that he lives in a Western Country because if he would have been a Palestinian or an Iranian they would have tied him to a chair and thrown him off a roof ..

Freud said...

To amschwartz
I love when you bring "Jewish" values when Sam doesn't live up to any of them.
Sam chose to go to the press in an open forum .... and now he cannot take criticism. He could have easily been quiet about his perversion and he would be have been respected by everyone around him as he should have, but once Sam stuck his male thumb in the norms of society he must expect pushback. He may very well be living his "life with kindness and joy" but he took an innocent family and destroyed it and then showed his "cruelness" to the world. Even according to Sam he knew about his sickness when he was just a teenager so why did he get married and then bring an innocent life into this cruel world? Why would he think that this is ok? Why would he think that everyone would accept his craziness? He is one selfish unaccomplished person who instead of getting divorced made a mockery of his family and his religion.

Transgender said...

Amschwartz
Please don't lecture us or DIN on "Jewish" values.... Jewish theology states that God makes no mistakes ..... Sam was born a male and if "he thought" he was a female he should have not gone out and destroy others with his "kindness and joy." Sam didn't do anything to harm the blogger as you well pointed out, but he did harm an innocent child, who will now face ridicule and bullying.

Anonymous said...

Amschwartz
I am no fan of DIN, having said that, I read Samantha's interview with interest..... no where in the entire interview does she express any sympathy for having dragged her entire family thru hell... in the interview one cannot detect any "kindness"or"joy". She does not mention her child in any way only that she is teaching him to speak Yiddish, a total waste of energy and time ... might as well teach her Flemish. As DIN pointed out, she will have no one to speak it with.
My conclusion is that she is very narcissistic, and my feeling is that this will not end well for her or her family... but I wish her all the best ..

TheRebbitzen said...

So Ahavtah Lareach Hakamocha (love your neighbor as yourself) is NOT a Mitzvah you personally value or even bother with.

Neither do you seem to care about the talmudic belief that purposefully hurting someone's feelings (especially to the point of public embarrassment) is tantamount to killing in that they both carry the same punishment.

You also do not seem to care about the Mitzvah against Loshon Harah - evil language and gossip.

Nor do you believe in Derech Eretz (behaving in a decent, respectful manner).

I could just easily dismiss you as a transphobic jerk. But that would be too easy, too dismissive, and frankly, too kind.

What I will say is that you make yourself look like the fool when you speak on a subject on which you obviously have no information or education.

You know nothing about the very real psychological and physiological disorder known as "gender dysphoria." Nor do you have any understanding of the Hell it is to attemp to live with "gender dysphoria" because traditional, observant Jews are only now starting to understand it and respect it as real.

You also know nothing about the violence against transgender people, the discrimination, the trolls like yourself seeking to push their own, uninformed, ignorant transphobic agenda.

But most shockingly, you do not know Rabbi Zerin, her thoughts and feelings about her wife and family. You know nothing about her congregation and their thoughts and feelings. Yet instead of accepting that Love is Love and that Rachel loves her spouse no matter what gender, you chose to completely fabricate a story about a forced letter, an unhappy wife, a confused child. You have no evidence of any of this and that is because no such evidence exists. The Zerins are a loving, supportive family by all accounts. The marriage is strong by all accounts. The child is happy and well-adjusted by all accounts.

So, perhaps, instead of peddling hate and lies, you could actually try yo learn the "truth" since you claim that is what your blog is truly all about.

Lastly, Samantha Zerin has a Ph.D. level degree. She teaches music, music theory and Yiddish (among other things) and composes music and poetry. She gets paid for all of her work. So, there goes your lies about her not being able to have a real job (or whatever words you used to try to convey such nonsense).

You seriously need to: 1) get a life, 2) do better at living Torah values and 3) get your facts straight.

Dusiznies said...

To The Rebbetzin
Sam or as you you call him "Samantha" went to the press to give his story..... when you go into a kitchen there is going to be a lot of heat ....and people will be giving their view, correctly or not, based on the information of the interview..
In that report all Sam did was talk about himself .... he mentioned his child as an afterthought because he said he was teaching him Yiddish, a language he will never ever use unless he becomes a chasid living either in Monroe or Williamsburg ... and even if he would become a chasid and decide to live in Monroe or Williamsburg ... not one person will understand his yiddish... I speak Yiddish and Yiddish is my first language, the Yiddish that Sam speaks on his videos is not intelligible at all to anyone who speaks it on a regular basis ...so instead of teaching his kid Hebrew that over 6 million Jews speak now, and would be useful, he is wasting his kid's time and energy.
Sam also showed no emotion when talking about his wife at all. nor did express sympathy for her ...and even though you are saying that she understands him and loves him... the facts are different.. she married a guy, had a child, and wanted a "normal" family ..she didn't ask for this... I really look up to her because if what you say is correct, she is now going along with this charade for the sake of loving him unconditionally and to keep the family intact..she is to be commended and is truly a tzadikis..
I don't have any idea what a "Ph.D level degree" is...but I know what it's not... it's not a Phd...
Having said all that, I may remove the post...
but if I see Sam giving anymore interviews looking for "other rebbeitzens" in his position ... (none) I will assume it's open season to write what my opinion is...... ... if this "transgender" business is a "mental disorder" as you suggest then it should have been stated as such and I would have never commented on this..... I actually know people that say that they are Moshiach but I would never write about because everyone knows that is a mental disorder...

Samantha said...

Hi, I'm Samantha Zerin. I left a comment yesterday, but it doesn't seem to have gone through. So I apologize if this comes through as a duplicate comment.

Just wanted to clarify that the article contains only a fraction of what I spoke about in the interviews (plural) with the reporter. And what I spoke about with the reporter is only a fraction of what I speak about in private with my friends and family. Please do not speculate about the meaning of missing information, because that was largely determined by the reporter and her editor, attending to the constraints of a news article, and not by me.

However, the reason I spoke very little about my family is to protect their privacy. It is a very difficult balance between being a public figure and maintaining the privacy of my loved ones, particularly with regard to our young child. I speak of them often and with great nakhas in private among our friends.

To be clear, though, my wife and child both fully support my gender transition. They refer to me as she/her, use my feminine names, and fully support my social and medical transitions. When the article came out, my wife shared it with great pride, as did my parents. My parents, siblings, in-laws, grandparents, and other extended family have also been very supportive.

Other than this, I kindly ask that you respect my family's request for privacy and not speculate about them or our relationship. I also ask that you not speculate about the love that I share with my family. I love them dearly, as they do me.

There are many other errors and misunderstandings in the blog post and comments, which I would like to correct. But, respectfully, I am unsure if that would be a productive use of time. If you are genuinely interested in discussing this with me, I invite you to connect with me on Twitter (@ShuliElisheva) or through my website, CreativeShuli.com. I would be happy to talk through your concerns. As a religious Jew, I have given great concern to halachic matters, some of which I have written about publicly on Twitter. But I am not sure that the comments section of a very antagonistic blog post is the right place for those conversations to happen.

I wish you all happiness and joy, b'shalom uv'rachah.