Kolko Victim to other victims: "SPEAK UP"

A New Jersey boy whose family was shunned by their Orthodox Jewish community after he went to authorities to report being sexually abused by a teacher urged other victims of sex abuse to speak out and get help from prosecutors.

Testimony from the 16-year-old boy, who was 12 when the abuse occurred, helped put his abuser in prison. Yosef Kolko, 39, was sentenced late Thursday to nearly 13 years after a judge refused to let him take back a guilty plea to aggravated sexual assault he had made in May.

The Associated Press generally does not identify the victims of sexual abuse. Speaking just before Kolko was sentenced, the boy urged others who are being sexually abused to come forward and speak out.

“I strongly urge you to go to the authorities and share your story,” he said. “I can’t say it will be easy.”

But, he added, “Victims are getting stronger every day.”

Prosecutors said the family of the boy was ostracized by the community for pursuing the case in state court instead of letting religious leaders deal with it. The boy’s father, a prominent rabbi, lost his job and the family moved to Michigan.

The victim’s father had initially wanted the case handled within the Orthodox community, asking a senior rabbi to help ensure Kolko stay away from children and go to therapy. In mid-2009, the father decided to take the case to authorities because he felt it was not being handled appropriately — Kolko was still teaching and planning to work at the summer camp where he had met the boy.

“My message to those monsters out there who are abusing: You will be exposed, you will be put behind bars, and you will go through hell on Earth,” the boy said. “Molesting may seem harmless to you, but the reality is that it kills people with every touch.”

Then he addressed Kolko directly.

“How can you ignore the tears and open wounds when you knew how much you hurt me?” he asked. “It’s ego and stubbornness that got you here, not me.”

Kolko tried to withdraw his guilty plea, claiming in court papers that members of the Lakewood community carried out an unrelenting campaign to get him to plead guilty and avoid bringing negative publicity on the community. He claims they showed him YouTube videos “of how inmates kill people in jail for being molesters in order to pressure me into taking a plea and avoiding trial.”

“If not for the extreme pressure by members of my community, I would not have pled guilty as charged,” he wrote. “I reject plea bargains offered by the state because I am innocent of the crimes alleged.”

Shabsi Kolko testified Thursday that his brother Yosef signed a piece of paper moments before pleading guilty that read, “All that I plead to is under duress, and to save my life.”

But the prosecutor ridiculed the fact that Kolko’s family apparently held onto the letter for months instead of bringing it immediately into court to try to prevent his plea from being accepted.

When he pleaded guilty, Kolko admitted performing oral sex on the boy and attempting to have anal intercourse with him.

Kolko, who had repeatedly called out during the nearly 10-hour court session when he disagreed with something that was said, declined to speak on his own behalf before being sentenced.

Gary Lieberman arrested for sexually abusing his students, its an epidemic

Nassau County police said a Queens rabbi, Gary Lieberman, 56, of Far Rockaway, has been charged with sexual abuse, accused of victimizing a then 10-year-old boy between Nov. 4, 2009 and May 2010 while employed by the Hebrew Academy of Nassau County in West Hempstead. (Photo credit: NCPD )

A rabbi is accused of molesting a 10-year-old religion student on Long Island.

Nassau County Police say Gary Lieberman, of Far Rockaway, was awaiting arraignment Friday on two counts of sexual abuse.

The name of his attorney was not immediately known.

A school official notified police about the allegations this year. Lieberman was arrested Thursday.

Police say the alleged abuse occurred between November 2009 and May 2010. His employment at the academy in West Hempstead was terminated in August 2010. But police say he may have continued teaching at other private religious schools.

They’re asking any other possible victims to notify the Nassau County Police Special Victims Squad.

Kolko gets 12 years for raping innocent children

A judge has sentenced a New Jersey yeshiva teacher to nearly 13 years in prison after refusing to let him withdraw his guilty plea to sexually abusing a child.

Yosef Kolko appeared in court Thursday. He says he was pressured by members of his Orthodox Jewish community to plead guilty.

The judge sentenced the 39-year-old Kolko to 12 years and nine months after a hearing that lasted hours. Kolko declined to speak in court.

Kolko pleaded guilty in May while he was on trial on several counts including aggravated sexual assault. The crimes allegedly involved an 11-year-old boy Kolko met at a camp in 2007.

 by Taboola

From the Web

Frummies ban colored bras and panties in Beitar Illit, Are the Rabbis checking the ladies?

A warning letter reminding women that they cannot wear any colored underwear was distributed in the Israeli city of Beitar Illit, according to a report by the Haredi World.

The letter warns that a modesty squad will patrol the streets of the city in order to sniff out those who wear immodest bras and panties.

The letter states that any colors besides black, beige and white, are prohibited for a good Jewish woman.

“Wearing colored underwear causes sin,” the letter warns.
“We want the city of Beitar Illit to remain a modest place for good Jews,” the letter also states.

The following is an English translation of the letter, according to failedmessiah.com.

1) All sales women must be dressed modestly, showing no uncovered body parts, or wear tight or short clothing.

2) Items displayed in stores without packaging must be stored in drawers or shut closets, where the doorknobs are turned with no sliding doors. Items which are kept behind curtains, may only be of the traditional sort.

3) The rules refer to both bras and panties.

4) Stores are not allowed to sell underwear in all types of colors and styles. No items with red, bright pink or orange colors. No words or pictures.

5) It is strictly forbidden under any circumstance for saleswomen to suggest, advise or to guide women, and especially brides, to purchase underwear, which are not in traditional colors: white, beige or black.

6) It is strictly prohibited for men or children to enter these stores.

7) If immodest images appear on the packaging, they must be covered up with stickers.

8) Advertisements must be modest in style and design.

9) From time to time, women will be sent to track and monitor that all these rules are kept, and not in a perverse manner.

The letter was signed by Devora Braverman, Sarah Berezovsky, and Chaya Itzkovitz.
As reported by yourjewishnews.com

Wolmark and Epstein get very tough bail conditions, Wolmark 5 Million Bail, Epstein 1 Million Bail

Rabbi Wolmark

Six of the ten people arrested last week in the FBI sting that broke up an organized ring pressuring Orthodox Jewish husbands into granting religious divorces to their wives were in court on Wednesday, where a federal judge set strict bail conditions that runs into millions of dollars for some defendants.

Asbury Park Press (http://goo.gl/7qp2mS) reports that U.S. District Court Judge Douglas E. Arpert set very strict guidelines, including home confinement on all six men, including Rabbi Mendel Epstein and Rabbi Martin “Mordachai” Wolmark.

For Epstein, Judge Arpert said he must wear an electronic ankle bracelet while remaining under house arrest at his Lakewood, NJ home.

Since their arrest last week, all ten men have been held at the Philadelphia Federal Detention Center.

In court on Wednesday, Ariel Potash, Binyamin Stimler, David Helman and Sholom Shuchat appeared along with Epstein and Wolmark.

Fellow defendants Jay Goldstein, Moshe Goldstein, Simcha Bulmash and Avrohom Goldstein remained at the detention center awaiting a bail hearing.

Epstein’s attorney, Susan Necheles of Manhattan, said Epstein, as well as the others, may have a difficult time meeting all the bail conditions, which includes surrendering their passports, their wives’ passports, and posting property as collateral.

Sources said the six were ushered into court wearing Army green jumpsuits and shackled together, as more than 50 supporters and family members sat watching.

All of the men wore black yarmulkes.

According to sources, Epstein’s four daughters and wife were planning to put up five properties worth over $4M as collateral to secure his release.

“This man is all about his family,” Necheles told the judge, while mentioning Epstein’s eight children, over 50 grandchildren and 4 great grandchildren. “If he were to flee, all of his children and grandchildren would be out on the street.”

Handling the case for the feds, Assistant U.S. Attorney R. Joseph Gribko argued that all of the men should be held without bail, regardless of their religious backgrounds.

“Had we been talking about the mob or the Bloods or the Crips we wouldn’t even be discussing a bond in this case,” Gribko told Judge Arpert. “There’s no difference between them and these other gangs that engage in violent crime.”

All ten of the men face up to life in prison if convicted

UPDATED! 

A federal judge today set a $5 million bail for Rabbi Wolmark, and $1 million for Epstein the two prominent rabbis accused of torturing Orthodox Jewish men into giving their wives a religious divorce.

Sources say Rabbi Martin Wolmark, of Monsey, and Rabbi Mendel Epstein, of Brooklyn, could be released from a federal detention center in Philadelphia as early as Thursday morning if they meet all the conditions of their bail..

"Stone them to Death" says R' Chaim Kanievsky about those who vote for the opposition in elections

At the meeting, Rav Shlomo Kanievsky, rosh yeshiva of Yeshivas Kiryas Melech, spoke on behalf of his father,

Maran Rav Chaim [leading haredi Rabbi Chaim Kanievsky], and said,

 “B’reshus Moronon Verabonon [with the permission of the rabbis], I am not worthy to stand before the great roshei yeshivos [yeshiva deans], but a shliach [messenger] must carry out his mission. These remarks will be a bit harsh, but I will share what I heard.

“I asked [my father] what I should say here. My father told me: 

‘Tell them that it is written in the Gemara [Talmud] that those who demean the greatest leaders of the generation have no portion in Olam haba [the world to come; the afterlife].’”

Rav Shlomo added that his father, with uncharacteristic sharpness, said, “Hamevazeh gedolei hador chayov sekilah - Those who denigrate the gedolei hador [leading rabbis of the generation] are deserving of stoning.”

When Rav Shlomo asked his father about the fact that this is not written explicitly anywhere in Chazal [rabbinic sources], 

Rav Chaim replied that “we are talking about chillul Sheim Shomayim [desecration of the name of heaven, i.e., desecrating God's name] and this is worse than one who desecrates the Shabbos [Sabbath; willfully and knowingly desecrating Sabbath law is punished with stoning under halakha, Jewish law – although that punishment cannot be carried out without the Jerusalem Temple rebuilt, the entire Jewish court system functioning, and several other requirements met, which is why it hasn't been done in centuries], even though it is not written explicitly.”

“When I asked him,” added Rav Shlomo, “that they will say that they have different gedolim [great rabbis {they follow}], he said to me, ‘You can say that I saw how the Chazon Ish [Rabbi Avrohom Yeshaya Karelitz, a great haredi rabbinic leader who passed away in 1953; Karelitz was the elder Kanievsky's father-in-law] accompanied him to the door. There is no more to say and it is not respectful to say more.” [This appears to refer to Karelitz walking the much younger Rabbi Aharon Leib Shteinman to the door of Karelitz's house after speaking with him inside for some time. This was done by Karelitz as a show of respect for Shteinman, who is now, 60 or more years later, the supreme non-hasidic Ashkenazi haredi rabbinic leader.]

Ad kan devorov hakedoshim. [Until here are the words of the holy ones.]

This is essentially saying that any Ashkenazi haredi who votes for Ashkenazi haredi rebel leader Rabbi Shmuel Auerbach's candidates is deserves to be stoned to death.

Epstein tortured me, says Abraham Rubin

Abraham Rubin, left, says Rabbi Mendel Epstein, right, and another rabbi beat him and stun-gunned his genitals.

The rabbis accused of pocketing piles of cash to kidnap and torture Orthodox husbands on behalf of divorce-seeking wives targeted a Brooklyn man in 1996, he claimed in a lawsuit.

Abraham Rubin said that Rabbi Mendel Epstein and Rabbi Martin Wolmark had him forced him into a van outside his synagogue before beating him and stun-gunning his genitals.

He was left bloody and half-naked on the side of the road — all to force him to agree to a religious divorce, or “get,” from his wife, he claimed in the suit.

Rubin’s 1997 lawsuit was dropped by both parties in 2000, and a Brooklyn DA probe was halted because “the victim could not identify any of his assailants,” said a spokeswoman for DA Charles Hynes.

“We were so upset that we couldn’t prosecute,” said one law enforcement source. “They did it in a place that was very dark and they were all wearing masks,” the source said.

“We wanted Epstein, but we just couldn’t prove it,” the source said. “It was all in a world we couldn’t get deep inside.”

Rubin’s allegations put Epstein and Wolmark on investigators’ radar, and on Friday he applauded the arrests.

“We are very, very grateful to the Creator that finally this happened,” Rubin said in a statement given to The Post.

“These imposters, these so-called rabbis, are a disgrace to our community,” Rubin said. “The masks have finally been taken off their faces.”

The two rabbis remain locked up in New Jersey after a federal sting caught them agreeing to take $50,000 from an agent posing as a “get”-seeking Orthodox wife.

In exchange, the rabbis promised to lure the agent’s “husband” into a warehouse and torture him into agreeing to the split, the feds said.

“We take an electric cattle prod… You put it in certain parts of his body,” Epstein was secretly recorded promising, the feds’ complaint alleged.

Borough Park-based social worker Elya Amsel, 60 — who still remembers visiting the battered Rubin at Maimonedes Hospital — said the arrests, “will raise the eyebrows of the whole gentile world.

“The Italians are nothing compared to what went on here with the Jews.”

Rabbi Wolmark of Shaarei Torah in FBI Custody, Rabbi Mendel Epstein, rabbi Yaakov Goldstein in custody,

Two rabbis and two other men allegedly conspired to kidnap and use cattle prods, among other methods, to force Orthodox Jewish men into divorcing their wives, authorities said.

Rabbis Mendel Epstein and Martin Wolmark as well as Ariel Potash and a fourth individual known as Rabbi Yaakov Goldstein were arrested after the FBI raided several locations overnight, including Yeshiva Shaarei Torah in Suffern, a home in Brooklyn and at least one other location in New Jersey.
 

Potash and Yaakov are accused of being “tough guys” who kidnapped and beat up the recalcitrant husbands of distraught wives seeking a divorce, authorities said.
 

Epstein and Wolmark allegedly charged the wives and their families thousands of dollars to obtain the religious divorce and arranged the beatings, according to the criminal complaint.

According to Jewish law, in order to get a religious divorce a husband must provide his wife with a document known as a “get,” the complaint said.

Only a husband can initiate divorce by issuing the “get,” but a wife has the right to sue for divorce in rabbinical court, court papers said.
 

According to the criminal complaint, an undercover FBI agent posed as an Orthodox Jewish wife who was seeking a divorce from her unwilling husband. A second undercover agent posed as her brother.
 

In August, the undercover agents called Wolmark saying they were “desperate for a religious divorce and were willing to pay a large sum of money to obtain a divorce,” the complaint said.
 

“There are a couple of ways to do that,” Wolmark allegedly said in a recorded phone conversation. “You have to, we have to, convene a special beth din and see if there are grounds to, to, to coerce him on the ‘get.’”
 

Wolmark said the process “could be very costly” and requires “special rabbis who are going to take this thing and see it through the end,” the complaint said.
 

“In other words, you need to get him to New York where someone either can harass him or nail him. Plain and simple,” he said, according to the complaint.
 

Wolmark then linked up the undercovers with Epstein, who met him at his house in New Jersey about a week later — a meeting that was recorded, the papers said.

During the meeting, Epstein talked about “kidnapping, beating and torturing husbands in order to force a divorce,” court papers said.

“Basically what we are going to be doing is kidnapping a guy for a couple of hours and beating him up and torturing him and then getting him to give the ‘get,’”

 

He said they would use “tough guys” who utilize “electric cattle prods, karate, handcuffs and place plastic bags over the heads of husbands,” the complaint said.
 

According to the complaint, Epstein said if a cattle prod “can get a bull that weighs five tons to move, you put in certain parts of his body and in one minute the guy will know.”

Epstein said he commits a kidnapping every year to year and half, authorities said.
 

He said it would cost $10,000 to pay for the rabbis on the rabbinical court to approve the kidnapping and an additional $50,000 to $60,000 to pay for the “tough guys,” authorities said.
 

Epstein told the undercovers that Wolmark officiates during the kidnapping and that his son was one of the so-called “tough guys” who “uses his karate skills” on the victims, court papers said.
 

They allegedly arranged to meet in Rockland County in October to begin the process of authorizing the use of violence to obtain a forced “get.”
 

In subsequent phone conversations, the undercover agent posing as the brother suggested he could lure the female undercover’s husband to New Jersey, the complaint said.
 

Epstein eventually proposed that the husband be brought to a warehouse in Middlesex County, where Yaakov and Epstein were later seen by FBI surveillance teams scoping out the location, prosecutors said.
 

On Oct. 2, the undercover female agent met with Wolmark, Epstein, Potash and Yaakov to get approval for the use of force, authorities said.
 

Potash said that he “does whatever the rabbis tell him” while Yaakov wrote everything down, court papers said.
 

After the meeting, Epstein confirmed the plan and authorized the use of force to obtain the “get” and $20,000 was wire transferred by one of the undercover agents to Epstein, authorities said.
 

Law enforcement sources said Epstein’s scheme has been going on for as long as 20 years, WCBS 880′s Alex Silverman reported.
 

Ten more people have also been taken into custody in connection with this case

meeting, Epstein talked about “kidnapping, beating and torturing husbands in order to force a divorce,” court papers said.

“Basically what we are going to be doing is kidnapping a guy for a couple of hours and beating him up and torturing him and then getting him to give the ‘get,’” Epstein allegedly said

FBI raids Monsey yeshiva, Shaarei Torah, in divorce-gang probe, Rabbi Mendel Epstein arrested.

Rabbi Mendel Epstein (before his arrest)

The FBI descended late Wednesday on Yeshiva Shaarei Torah in connection with an investigation into a gang that pressured men into giving their wives religious divorces, a law enforcement source told The Journal News.

The FBI told Ramapo police to follow them to the yeshiva on Carlton Road about 9 p.m. Authorities remained at the scene until early Thursday morning, when several agents were seen leaving the building, loading equipment into several unmarked cars with New Jersey license plates.

The source said arrests were made in Rockland as well as New Jersey.

An FBI spokesman in the New York City office said actions in connection to the investigation were also ongoing in Brooklyn.

The spokesman would only say that searches were being conducted in connection with an “ongoing investigation.” He could not confirm whether arrests had been made and referred all calls to the agency’s Newark, N.J. office. Officials there could not be reached for comment.

Agents could be seen inside the school's lobby area and at various points outside the building. Students in the yeshiva’s parking lot said the school is for high school children. Several said they were inside when the raid began, but were forced to remain outside during the bulk of the law enforcement action.

Rockland County District Attorney Thomas Zugibe on Wednesday said he was aware of the raid, but referred all questions to the FBI. Ramapo police also would not field 
questions concerning the matter.

It was reported that Rabbi Mendel Epstein of Brooklyn was arrested in Flatbush.

Rabbi Ovadia Yosef's Funeral Largest In Israel’s History

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu (4th R) and President Shimon Peres (2nd R) stand near the body of Rabbi Ovadia Yosef, the spiritual leader of the ultra-religious Shas political party, before his funeral in Jerusalem 

The capital came to a veritable standstill Monday evening as at least 800,000 men, women and children from across the nation descended upon Jerusalem to mourn the death earlier in the day of Shas spiritual leader, and former chief rabbi, Ovadia Yosef, in the largest funeral in the nation’s history.

Police helicopters hovered above the city and Light Rail trains reached maximum capacity due to multiple road closings, as hundreds of thousands rushed to attend the 6 pm funeral at the Sanhedria Cemetery.

According to Police spokesman Micky Rosenfeld, hundreds of officers were deployed throughout the city to ensure order.

Meanwhile, dozens of chartered buses that were able to navigate the numerous street closings – as well as sections of Highway 1 – were parked, some haphazardly, around Ammunition Hill’s sidewalks and parking lots.

Teenager Alon Meiri traveled on one of the buses from Netanya with 50 other men to attend the funeral.

“He’s my rabbi, my teacher,” said Meiri of Yosef, as dozens of men prayed next to his bus in a parking lot. “He knew the Halacha better than anyone and knew things on a scale that no one else does. If you asked him a question he would answer immediately and give you the sources.”

Meiri added that he believes Yosef is irreplaceable.

“It will be impossible to fill his shoes,” he said. “This is a huge loss for us.”

Ron Rafaeli, of Ashdod, also expressed sorrow as he and thousands of others hurriedly walked to the site of the funeral.

“Our greatest rabbi has left us,” he said.

Asked what made Yosef such an exceptional leader, Rafaeli cited Yosef’s unusual connection with the common man.

“He was great because he spoke in the peoples’ language and never acted like he was above them,” he replied. “He acted like he was of them.”

Indeed, Yigal Masika, who traveled from outside of Netanya, said that although Yosef was among the most erudite rabbis in the world, he was still “the rabbi of everybody.”

“He was the greatest rabbi of his generation – a great leader and one of the last holy men of Israel,” said Masika. “He loved all the Jewish people, no matter who they were, and united Jews and rabbis from across the world.”

Masika added, “No one comes close to his knowledge.”

Michael Simantor said he traveled with his young son from Ma’aleh Adumim to attend the funeral.

“He was the greatest rabbi in Israel,” he said. “In his body and mind he was a living Torah. He designed the way we live here today as Jews.”

Noting the gravity of the funeral, Simantor said he told his son that he will never forget the day’s phenomenon.

“I said that one day he will tell his son and grandson that he took part in this significant event,” he said.

Jerusalem Mayor Nir Barkat issued a statement mourning the loss of Yosef.

“Rabbi Ovadia Yosef was a part of the Jerusalem landscape for many decades,” Barkat wrote. “He was a spiritual leader, a respected scholar, an influential author and a halachic authority for hundreds of thousands of people in Israel and around the world.”

He continued, “Jerusalem mourns with all of Israel and sends condolences to Rabbi Yosef’s family.”

Barkat added that the Jerusalem Municipality will coordinate an official commemoration of Yosef’s legacy in the coming months.

Monsey "chazir", Moishe Turner on the prowl again

A 59-year-old Monsey man faces a court hearing on charges that could put him in jail for violating his probationary sentence for sexually abusing a 14-year-old boy.

The violations include Moishe Turner attending the same wedding as the boy , failing to find suitable full-time work, and not informing his probation officer of a car he was driving, according to the Rockland District Attorney’s Office.

The hearing is scheduled for Oct. 15 before state Supreme Court Justice William Kelly at the Rockland Courthouse in New City.

Turner’s lawyer, Kenneth Gribetz, countered Turner was invited to the wedding and didn’t know the boy would be there, and the event was held in a school closed for summer recess and used as a catering hall.
Gribetz said synagogues commonly use religious schools as catering halls for weddings and other social events during the summer recess months. The wedding Turner was invited to was at 10 p.m. July 25 at a closed school in Kaser, Gribetz said. The young boy had not been invited, he said.
“He didn’t know the child would be attending,” Gribetz said. “They didn’t speak with each other and they didn’t have any contact. ”

Gribetz said Turner works as a job inventory clerk for a business in Hillburn. Turner is charged with second-degree criminal contempt for violating an order of protection by being within 500 feet of the young man and for being on school grounds.

Prosecutor Jennifer Parietti said Turner could get a jail sentence if state Supreme Court Justice William Kelly finds him guilty of the violations after the hearing and incarceration is warranted.
Paretti said six months in jail is possible because that sentence would maintain Turner’s 10-years probation. The lengthy probation is erased with a state prison sentence or more than six months in jail, she said.
Turner pleaded guilty Jan. 18 to second-degree criminal sex act, a charge that could have brought seven years in prison. He admitted having anal and oral sex with the boy on seven occasions during July 2011.
Parietti offered the plea agreement and told Kelly in court that the family didn't want the boy testifying in open court.
Kelly sentenced Turner to 10 years probation and then held a short hearing and classified Turner as a Level 2 sex offender, a designation stating there’s a moderate chance of repeating the crime.

Chaveirim of Rockland County welcomes a child molester

The convicted child molester “Dym” was released from jail 

 and Chaverim of Rockland just sent out this text.

"The Kabolas Ponim for our Chaver, Unit 29 will take place 6 Laura La. Wesley. Tom. Night 8p-10p @ our gracious host unit 4s' home. Pls contact 44 or 64 re: $."

Deb Tambor's final moments

Motie (Abe) Weiss and Deborah (Deb) Tambor, a young couple in love living in Bridgeton, N.J,, had a beautiful tradition: Each morning at 9 a.m., Tambor would make a cup of coffee and bring it to his workplace, an auto-repair shop.

Last week Friday, Tambor, 33, did not show up. At first, Weiss thought she had decided to sleep in a little later than usual. But when she didn’t answer her phone all morning, he grew concerned and rushed home. He ran frantically from room to room and found her lying sprawled on the floor of their bedroom, next to two empty bottles of pills and a half-empty bottle of alcohol, Weiss said in an interview with the Forverts. He immediately dialed 911, but when the ambulance arrived, it was too late.

Sgt. Adam Grossman of the New Jersey State Police said there was no cause of death determined yet for Tambor and an investigation was ongoing. He said Tambor’s body found at 2:36 p.m. on Sept. 27 in her home on Woodruff Road in Upper Deerfield Township.

COURTESY OF ABE WEISS

Deb Tambor and Abe (Motie) Weiss

The death of Deb Tambor sparked an outpouring of sympathy on Facebook and social media from Jews who, like Weiss and Tambor, were raised in various Hasidic communities but are now no longer religious.

A divorced mother of two, Tambor grew up in the Hasidic community of New Square, N.Y. She suffered terribly after losing custody of her three children. Her family claimed that her depression was the reason she lost custody of the children, but close friends blamed her lack of religious observance.

Her own father testified against her in the custody battle, some of her close friends said. Both her father and her ex-husband’s new wife besmirched Tambor to the point where her own children did not want to see her anymore.

“She really hated her father,” Weiss said.

On the evening of Sept. 29, about 40 of Tambor’s friends gathered outside the funeral home in New Square, waiting to hear where and when the funeral would take place.

They stood for hours in the cold, but no one from the funeral home or the community informed them that the family had quietly arranged to have her funeral the next day in West Babylon, on Long Island. When Weiss learned of this detail Monday morning, it was already too late to get there in time for the funeral —and that angered him terribly.

“The last thing Deb would have wanted is for her father to bury her, “ Weiss said. But he praised Tambor’s brothers, who were sympathetic to him after their sister’s death.

“They actually came to pick me up from Monsey [N.Y.] and take me to New Square to the van where her coffin was held. They even thanked me for making her happy,” he said.

Many others who knew Tambor well also commented on how happy she seemed over the past few months, which is why her suicide was so shocking to everyone.
“Just two weeks ago she told me that she wanted to marry me and have more children,” Weiss said in a trembling voice.

She was happiest when helping other individuals who left or who were looking to leave their Hasidic communities, Weiss said. And indeed, since her death, many of her friends, both in real life and on social media, expressed similar sentiments of how she helped them in their time of need.

Sruli, a 22-year-old former Hasid from New Square who did not give his last name, said Tambor befriended him after they met at the Rockland branch of Footsteps, an organization of people who have left ultra-Orthodox communities.

“She was the first one to take me to the theater to see my first film and to WalMart to buy non-Hasidic clothing,” said Sruli said. “When I had questions, she was there to answer, and not once did she make me feel like she was doing me a favor.”

“She treated me like a mother would her son,” he said.

With reporting by Anne Cohen

Read more: http://forward.com/articles/184942/how-deb-tambors-life-ended-and-started-firestorm/?p=all#ixzz2glBC7rjY

Read more: http://forward.com/articles/184942/how-deb-tambors-life-ended-and-started-firestorm/?p=all#ixzz2glB2U8uJ

Deb Tambor's Private Funeral,buried without any friends

Deb Tambor as a Chassidic wife on the left, and when she left

The boyfriend and 40 additional former ultra-Orthodox friends of an ex-Hasidic woman, who is believed to have committed suicide after being denied access to her children by the Skver Hasidic community, claim they were harassed and given repeated erroneous reports regarding her funeral arrangements after they showed up in New Square to pay their final respects. 

FORWARD.com  reports that Deb Tambor is believed to have committed suicide on September 27 at the home of her boyfriend Abe Weiss in Bridgeton, NJ as a result of her depression that began after she left New Square’s Skver Hasidic community. 

Tambor left the sect four years ago after divorcing her husband and being disavowed by her family for claiming she was sexually molested as a child by a member of the tight knit community. Recognizing her depression, Tambor sought psychiatric help, after which her family actively conspired with community members to prevent her from having contact with her young children. 

Tambor’s boyfriend, Abe Weiss, said, “Her depression started when she decided to leave the community and was threatened with losing her kids. Her biggest issue was that no one cared for her, everyone blew off all her issues.”

 Weiss and the 40 other ex-Hasidic members arrived in New Square around 4 p.m. Sunday for Tambor’s scheduled funeral at the New Square funeral home located in a cul-de-sac at the bottom of Roosevelt Avenue. Weiss and friends reported that within minutes of their arrival a Skver Hasid would slowly drive past them every few minutes. Weiss said that once they arrived, contacts inside the Skver community began texting them conflicting stories about when Tambor’s funeral would begin.

 First it was an hour, then “before dark”, after night fell, then at “midnight.” At around 9 p.m. an uncle of Tambor’s came and told the group he would “have them all handcuffed,” shortly after which police arrived, and after accessing the situation, told Weiss and friends they were welcome to stay and had a right to be there. 

Finally, at 4 a.m., Weiss and friends formed a circle in front of the funeral home and lit candles and had a moment of silence before dispersing. 

Within minutes of leaving Weiss was contacted by one of Tambor’s brothers via text who offered to take him to view Tambor’s body. Weiss was transported by two brothers to remote street outside New Square’s town line where a minivan containing Tambor’s coffin sat parked. Weiss was not allowed to lift the coffin’s lid or view Tambor’s face.

 At 10 a.m the following morning the same brother texted Weiss, telling him that his sister’s funeral was taking place at that very moment in a West Babylon, Long Island cemetery. Weiss said, “It was nice what they did. It would have been nicer if they’d let me come the funeral.” 

New Square community members say Tambor’s family chose to have her buried elsewhere due to the shame she had brought on her family and the community. “Who wants to be buried next to this lady? said Menashe Lustig, a New Square resident. “It’s very difficult to know where to put her. I hear they called up the rabbinic in Israel and they told them the decision that she be burred elsewhere. The family is ashamed. They’re very ashamed.”