You can’t make this stuff up. Yet Nir Hefetz—a state witness in the ongoing bogus trial of his former boss, Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin “Bibi” Netanyahu—just gave it the old college try.
In an interview with Channel 12’s current-events program “Duach Matzav” (“situation report”), Hefetz made as assertion worthy of the same network’s left-wing satire program “Eretz Nehederet.”
But he and his hosts, well-known Bibi-bashers Yaron Avraham and Einav Galili, discussed the claim in earnest.
The chat came on the heels of a Truth Social post on Thursday by U.S. President Donald Trump. The lengthy rant, replete with customary capital letters—some in odd places, others purposely employed for emphasis—was an ode to Netanyahu and an attack on those using bogus legal tricks to oust him.
“BREAKING NEWS,” Trump began. “I was shocked to hear that the State of Israel, which has just had one of its Greatest Moments in History, and is strongly led by Bibi Netanyahu, is continuing its ridiculous Witch Hunt against their Great War Time Prime Minister!”
He went on, “Bibi and I just went through HELL together, fighting a very tough and brilliant longtime enemy of Israel, Iran, and Bibi could not have been better, sharper, or stronger in his LOVE for the incredible Holy Land. Anybody else would have suffered losses, embarrassment, and chaos! Bibi Netanyahu was a WARRIOR, like perhaps no other Warrior in the History of Israel, and the result was something that nobody thought was possible, a complete elimination of potentially one of the biggest and most powerful Nuclear Weapons anywhere in the World, and it was going to happen, SOON!”
He continued, “We were fighting, literally, for the Survival of Israel, and there is nobody in Israel’s History that fought harder or more competently than Bibi Netanyahu. Despite all of this, I just learned that Bibi has been summoned to Court on Monday for the continuation of this long running, (He has been going through this “Horror Show” since May of 2020—Unheard of! This is the first time a sitting Israeli Prime Minister has ever been on trial.), politically motivated case, “concerning cigars, a Bugs Bunny doll, and numerous other unfair charges” in order to do him great harm. Such a WITCH HUNT, for a man who has given so much, is unthinkable to me. He deserves much better than this, and so does the State of Israel.”
Finally, he wrote, “Bibi Netanyahu’s trial should be CANCELLED, IMMEDIATELY, or a Pardon given to a Great Hero, who has done so much for the State. Perhaps there is no one that I know who could have worked in better harmony with the President of the United States, ME, than Bibi Netanyahu. It was the United States of America that saved Israel, and now it is going to be the United States of America that saves Bibi Netanyahu. THIS TRAVESTY OF ‘JUSTICE’ CAN NOT BE ALLOWED!”
Netanyahu’s supporters were buoyed by the unequivocal praise, particularly since it followed a couple of less-than-encouraging finger-waggings—as well as the dropping of an F-bomb aimed simultaneously at Israel and the Islamic Republic.
Naturally, the anybody-but-Bibi crowd wasn’t pleased with Trump’s outrage at the “witch hunt” against the “great hero” Netanyahu. While they had warmly embraced the previous administration in Washington, which actively abetted the protest movement’s efforts to topple the Israeli prime minister, they couldn’t tolerate Trump’s merely daring to voice a counter opinion.
The ensuing mainstream-media hysteria, disguised as dismissiveness, was thus to be expected. The predictability alone would have been sufficient to elicit a gaping yawn. Until Hefetz provided a hefty dose of comic relief, that is.
“Benjamin Netanyahu taught me one thing about sticking to the structure of an article,” he said, adding that though Trump’s post, which he misnamed a “tweet,” didn’t fall under that category, the rule still applied. “It’s what [Netanyahu] calls a ‘sandwich.’”
Hefetz explained that this meant beginning a piece with a point, illustrating it through an argument and ending it with the same message. Never mind that this is the basis of all essays as taught in every high school; Hefetz apparently first learned of it when he went to work for Bibi.
Hefetz proceeded to illustrate that this is what Trump was doing in his post: Naming the topic (the “witch hunt”); backing it up with mention of the Bugs Bunny doll [that Arnon Milchen gifted to the Netanyahus’ five-year-old son, Yair, nearly three decades ago); and ending with a call to end the trial.
It was, in Hefetz’s view, a “classic Netanyahu article written by [Strategic Affairs Minister and longtime Bibi confidant] Ron Dermer.”
Even interviewer Yaron Avraham was slightly taken aback.
“Ron Dermer wrote it?” he asked.
“Absolutely,” Hefetz insisted. “And Bibi, of course. With comments by [Netanyahu’s defense attorney] Amit Haddad. And I’m guessing … that that Yair Netanyahu was also in the picture.”
Yes, said Hefetz, when he woke up in the morning and read Trump’s post, he thought, “Way to go, Ron Dermer and Bibi.” To clarify that he was being sarcastic, not merely smug, he clapped his hands for melodramatic effect.
Talk about a feeble two-fer. But disparaging a duo who just took on Iran’s nuclear program with jaw-dropping cooperation and stunning prowess wasn’t the main cause for a global guffaw.
No, the real reason Hefetz’s statements were so hilarious is that nobody who’s paid attention to Trump’s temperament and Netanyahu’s rhetorical flair could possibly hear them without laughing. Indeed, if there’s anyone on this planet who doesn’t take literal or figurative dictation from others, it’s Trump.
The idea that he would allow Netanyahu and Dermer to tell him what to say—or that Netanyahu and Dermer would deign to put words in his mouth—is beyond ludicrous. The good news is that we all could do with a little laughter these days. Oh, and that late Friday night, Trump reiterated on Truth Social his insistence that Bibi’s trial is a “travesty of ‘justice,'” which “will interfere with both Iran and Hamas negotiations.”
by Ruthie Blum
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