Sick! Upper West Side synagogue, Jews gather to ‘sit shiva’ following Trump’s win

 

Congregants at the Upper West Side synagogue B’nai Jeshurun had gathered for a post-election prayer service on Wednesday night, but the congregation’s senior rabbi, Roly Matalon, understood that they had really come together for a different kind of Jewish gathering.

“We’re sitting shiva,” Matalon said to a crowd of about 100, including both members and guests. “Sitting shiva with a sense of loss, of grief.”

It was less than 24 hours after polls had closed in the year’s presidential election and just over 12 since Donald Trump, the Republican former president, had been declared the winner. For a significant majority of Jews across the country who opposed Trump, and especially in liberal bastions like the Upper West Side, the result shocked and stung.

As attendees trickled in, many greeted each other with looks of disbelief or shakes of their heads — but not with words.

“I feel a deep, physical sadness,” said congregant Joel Soffin, 79. Referring to a Jewish mourning tradition, Soffin added that mourners customarily don’t greet others or respond to greetings “during the first three days [of mourning] — and I’m in that place.”

“As a child of Holocaust survivors — it’s a very sad statement — but I see a fascist rise to power,” said Nina Horak, also a B’nai Jeshurun member. 

The event — titled “A Time of Prayer for the Neshamah [Soul] of Our Nation” — had been planned before the election to take place no matter its results, or whether they were fully known. The intention was to give the community a space to not only pray together, but also process together and share their experiences, said Rabbi Shuli Passow, the synagogue’s chief program and engagement officer.

After it became clear that Trump had handed Democrat Kamala Harris, the current vice president, a stinging loss, the event transformed in tone. 

Rabbi Felicia Sol led the brief evening service, and upon its conclusion read the Langston Hughes poem “Let America be America Again,” which talks about an American dream that never existed for many Americans. Matalon spoke about the feelings of shock and grief shared by many in the audience. 

“Are we the country we thought we are?” Sol asked. “I think that’s something many of us are holding.”

In the crowd was Rep. Jerry Nadler, who was reelected Tuesday to represent New York’s 12th Congressional District, which includes the Upper West Side. Nadler had received a congratulatory message from Matalon during what was an otherwise solemn night. 

Even on the Upper West Side, where most voters supported Harris, Trump’s support rose compared to 2020, when he lost to President Joe Biden. In one precinct, according to preliminary data, Harris’ share of the vote was below 85% — a result unseen in 2020.

In an interview, Nadler quoted scripture. “‘By the rivers of Babylon, we sat and wept when we remembered Zion. How shall we sing a song to the Lord in a strange land?’” he said, quoting Psalm 137 and a spiritual frequently sung in American synagogues. “This seems like a strange land now.” 

Then the rabbis split the attendees into over a dozen intimate discussion groups, and the sanctuary buzzed with the noise of people candidly sharing their own thoughts. 

“It’s very helpful to be in community, to hear each other’s stories and just to feel a presence,” Soffin said. 

After his shock in seeing Trump’s strong performance, Soffin said he realized he should ultimately meet more people with whom he disagrees in order to understand where they’re coming from. “But [for] now, while we’re sitting shiva, I need to be in the silo,” he said. “I need to have people around who are wrestling with the same things.”

Meryl, a congregant who normally joins via Zoom, commuted from New Jersey for the event. “I needed it,” she said. “I needed it.”

Said Horak about the evening, “It gives my soul a break. It’s a chance to be in community with likeminded people.” She added, motioning to the sanctuary’s elaborate, Moorish Revival-style mosaic wall, “And it’s a nice synagogue, you know, nice to look at.”

After about 20 minutes, the small discussion groups coalesced, and a few volunteers shared their stories with everyone. One speaker said he regretted not doing more as a canvasser to drum up votes for Harris. 

A congregant named Debra, 71, shared her fear that decades of work advocating for reproductive rights will be undone under the Trump administration. 

But Debra also struck a hopeful note for the future when talking about her 8-year-old granddaughter, who took it upon herself to write a petition to make Harris president.

Matalon, too, hinted at the future in his comments to the crowd, even as he gave them permission to wallow in the present.

“There will be a time after shiva to strategize, to organize, to analyze and to see what can be,” he said. “But now it’s just time to sit with one another, with our grief.”