by Pierce Morgan
In my worst nightmares, I find myself trapped on a desert island with the hosts of “The View.”
And all day long, I’m subjected to them all snarling, whining, scowling, seething and cursing about the same thing: Donald Trump.
The nightmares are long, torrid, mentally scarring and always involve the exact same pattern.
“Joyless” Joy Behar, who once wore blackface to a Halloween party — and then lied about it — marches up and down the beach loudly mocking and reviling Trump as a lying, racist hypocrite.
Whoopi Goldberg, who was suspended for saying the Holocaust wasn’t about race, sits by the ocean howling that Trump is a deluded, ill-informed, race-baiting imbecile.
Ana Navarro, who said Trump was not elected legitimately in 2016 and spews constant bile-fueled abuse about him, resides under a palm tree, ranting that he’s a lying election denier who deploys ugly rhetoric.
Alyssa Farah Griffin, who was once paid $183,000 to be Trump’s communications aide at the White House and enthusiastically sold him to America as a brilliant president, paces around seething that he’s the worst president of all time.
Sunny Hostin — who cruelly and heartlessly accused Nikki Haley of crying fake tears over her husband’s deployment to war zones and called her a “hypocrite chameleon” for not using her real first name, Nimrata, despite Hostin not using her own first name, Asunción — wails to the lizards that Trump is a cruel, heartless, hypocritical charlatan.
And Sara Haines, the saintly voice of compassionate, unifying sunshine who disapproves of Trump’s trash-talking but repeatedly called him a “jerk” and “jerkoff” in one episode, stands in the shade shouting, “HE’S STILL A JERK!”
Meanwhile, I just lie face-down in the sand, feeling like Bill Murray in a never-ending, hellish “Groundhog Day.”
Fortunately, I get to wake up from these horrific nightmares.
But those who watch “The View” aren’t so lucky.
Every day is like that for them — a relentless assault on their eardrums from a bunch of partisan obsessives competing with each other over who detests Trump most.
Their nadir came the day after the election, when to their horror, the man they’ve spent years branding a vile, bigoted, racist fascist won absolutely everything: the popular vote, the Electoral College, the White House, the Senate and the House of Representatives.
In a truly farcical gesture of brazen bias, the six hosts all trotted out in funereal black clothing because they were in mourning.
And yet, ironically, it was their own professional funeral that they were almost certainly attending.
Because “The View” has become a pointless, irrelevant parody of itself that urgently needs to be put out of its — and our — misery.
Just look at what they all said that day.
“He’s the president,” sighed Whoopi. “I’m still not going to say his name. That’s not going to change.”
Have you ever heard anything so ridiculous?
“I’m profoundly disturbed,” said a grim-faced Sunny. “It had nothing to do with policy. This was a referendum of cultural resentment in this country.”
This made me laugh out loud.
Trump’s win had everything to do with policy, especially on the economy and immigration, and the people most aggressively fueling cultural resentment have been the hosts of “The View,” whose insufferably woke worldview just got repudiated in spectacular fashion.
“I vehemently disagree with the decision that Americans made,” sniffed Joy.
That’s the problem, right there. Behar, like so many of the Democratic elite, just arrogantly assumed that her own scathingly disparaging opinion of Trump was shared by most of her fellow Americans.
But it wasn’t.
“I worked hard as hell for Donald Trump not to be president,” snarled Ana. “Today we can be sad.”
Who is “we,” exactly?
The majority of Americans don’t feel sad at all about Trump’s victory; they feel either jubilant or relieved it’s not word-salad Kamala Harris and her ruinously progressive, policy-devoid agenda.
“Let’s continue to fight for the people we care about,” moaned Sara. “I still feel optimistic because I am arm in arm with people who agree with me.”
Hmm, maybe she should try locking arms with people she doesn’t agree with — then she might learn why her side just suffered such a crushing defeat.
As for shameless flip-flopper Alyssa, who revealed on Election Day she voted for a Democrat for the first time in her life, she declared Trump was “the most dangerous man to have ever sat in the American presidency.”
Oh, whatever.
It’s precisely that kind of hyperbolic, apocalyptic nonsense, along with saying he’s the new Hitler, that drove so many undecideds to vote for Trump.
When the late, great Barbara Walters created “The View,” she wanted it to be a show hosted by women with different opinions.
But it isn’t anymore.
They all despise the man who is to be their president again, and that tediously myopic, one-sided act just won’t play now that he’s been given such a resounding endorsement from the American people.
I don’t like cancel culture — but given that the hosts of “The View” have, by their own admission, worked so hard to cancel Donald Trump, it’s time they were canceled themselves.
