Sorry Isn’t Enough: The Frum Community’s Troubling Response to Tragedy
In recent days, I’ve been stunned by the reaction of segments of the frum community to an avoidable tragedy. Instead of sober reflection, we’ve witnessed misplaced sympathy and even public support for a man who chose to drink, drive, and kill.
Consider the case of Mordechai Berkowitz, 23 years old — an adult by both secular and halachic standards. He made a conscious decision to get behind the wheel intoxicated. The result was the death of an innocent mother of children.
This was not a case of shogeg. It was karov le‑mezid.
Yet, rather than confronting the gravity of his actions, some in the community rallied behind him.
The author of a popular WhatsApp group, whom I highly respect, even attended his trial to show support. Tehillim groups were organized at holy sites. Would those supporters at his trial have shown up in court, had he killed someone's wife, husband or child of our community?
Have we lost our collective sense of moral clarity?
They made this רוצח into a hero!
I am not calling him a רוצח, our תורה הקדושה calls him that! Now anyone drinking will drive thinking, "worst comes to worst, I'll be made into a hero, and get a great קבלת פנים!
The problem runs deeper than just one case. Too many in this generation — including Torah leaders — have embraced the dangerous notion that saying “sorry” erases consequences. But it doesn’t. A life was taken. A choice was made. Time must be served..
This isn’t a child. This is an adult. Sorry doesn’t always cut it. Consequences matter.
And let’s be honest: if the victim had been a Jewish mother, would the same sympathy have been extended to the driver? History suggests otherwise. When a drunk driver killed an engaged couple on Motzaei Shabbos a few years ago, the community demanded a stiff sentence. Why the double standard?
This hypocrisy is not new. Satmar ass'kanim secured the release of Philip Drelich, who murdered his pregnant wife and a diamond dealer, despite being sentenced to two consecutive life terms, he walked free in 2016. What message does that send?
Meanwhile, the same voices that defend killers are often the loudest critics of Zionists — Jews who built a home for over 7.5 million people and who daily risk their lives for Klal Yisrael. The contrast is staggering.
I believe in rachmonis. Compassion is a cornerstone of our faith. But compassion must never be confused with excusing deliberate, destructive choices. Supporting someone who was karov le‑mezid undermines justice, morality, and the very values we claim to uphold.
The frum community must ask itself: what are we teaching our children? That “sorry” is a get‑out‑of‑jail card? That murder can be overlooked if the perpetrator is one of us? If so, we are not only failing the victims — we are failing ourselves.
Sorry is only good בין אדם למקום
An Orthodox Jewish man who launched an anti–drunk driving campaign after killing a woman in a 2022 crash was sentenced Wednesday to six years in New Jersey State Prison without parole.
Mordechai Berkowitz, 23, admitted he had been drinking before veering across the center line on South Lake Drive on July 22, 2022, fatally striking 44-year-old Juana Lopez-Hernandez.
After the crash, Berkowitz started a “Don’t Drink + Drive” campaign that drew nearly 45,000 pledges. Berkowitz was taken into custody immediately after sentencing and will receive credit for time served.
