ReMarrying Your Ex-Wife: Is it a Mitzvah? Rabbi Yair Hoffman vs “emailing baTorah”

 By Rabbi Yair Hoffman

What do Larry King, Elizabeth Taylor, Richard Pryor, and Eminem, all have in common?  You guessed it.  They all re-married their ex-spouse. 

The question is, however, is there actually a bone-fide Mitzvah in doing so? 

A recent and very prestigious email list entitled “emailing baTorah” ( a play on “Amailim baTorah – even its very name is brilliant) recently sent out a post that although most people think that it is a Mitzvah – it is not.

Respectfully, this author disagrees with the categorical statement that it is not a Mitzvah – but rather it should  be considered a Machlokes – a debate in halacha.

THREE POSITIONS

It seems that there are, in fact, three positions in the Poskim and/or commentaries:

• CATEGORY A -Those who hold that there is no Mitzvah at all. 
• CATEGORY B – Those who hold that it is a proper thing to do (occasionally), but not a Mitzvah. 
• CATEGORY C – Those who hold it is a Mitzvah – but an optional one.

One thing for sure is true – if it is a Mitzvah, it’s actual source is quite obscure.

THOSE WHO WRITE THAT IT IS NO MITZVAH – CATEGORY A

The Radbaz (Volume VIII #153) writes, “aval machzir gerushaso – aini ro’eh bah shum Mitzvah – but remarrying his ex-wife – I see absolutely no Mitzvah in it..”

Rav Yitzchok Tzvi Levovitz hy”d (1875-1944), author of the Shulchan HaAizer (p. 34a cited in the Otzar HaPoskim 10:4) writes, “shagur b’fi ha’Olam sh’Mitzvah lehachzir gerushaso” but he writes further that he found no source for it. 

THOSE WHO WRITE THAT IT IS A PROPER THING TO DO (BUT NOT A MITZVAH) – CATEGORY B

The Sefer HaChinuch in Mitzvah #580 writes,  “About this [if his ex-wife actually married another person in the interim] is it stated (Dvarim 24:4), “The first husband who divorced her may not take her to wife again.” And this is speaking about after she married another — as it stated first, “and becomes the wife of another man.” As if it is before she married [another], it is permissible to bring her back; and it is also appropriate to do so, if she is not an evildoer.  Most people understand that it is ra’ui to do so – a proper thing to do – but not an actual Mitzvah.

THOSE WHO WRITE THAT IT IS A MITZVAH – CATEGORY C

Rav Shmuel Vital (1598-1677), the son of Rav Chaim Vital,  in his comments on the Radbaz clearly writes, “machzir gerushaso – ain lecha Mitzvah Gedolah mimenah – But remarrying his ex-wife – you have no greater Mitzvah than this.”

Rav Shmuel Duran (1361-1444), author of the Tashbatz as well (Vol. III Siman 9 “V’hadvarim) writes that Machzir Gerushaso is a Mitzvah. He deal with a huband who made an vow not to remarry his ex-wife – does he have a means of re-examining the vow.  The Tashbatz answers that it could be re-examined even were it not the case of a Mitzvah and certainly in a case where there is a Mitzvah of remarrying one’s ex-wife. However there are those who suggest that he doesn’t really mean that and that the Tashbatz really belongs in Category B.  

Rav Avrohom Yitzchok Kook in Ezras Kohain #81(page 312) writes that it is a Mitzvah Rabbah to do so.

POSSIBLE SOURCES

There are a number of sources to CATEGORY B that can also be a source for those who hold it is certainly a Mitzvah.  The Gemorah in Yevamos 62b cites a pasuk regarding one who brings close his relatives – which would include an ex-spouse.  The Pasuk is found in Yishayahu 58:9, “Then shall you call, and Hashem will answer; you shall cry, and He will say: Here I am.”  Clearly if this is a result of such an action – it is a Mitzvah.

The Talmud Yerushalmi in Kesuvos (11:3) writes that one should be concerned about the sustenance of his ex-wife.  This is cited in the Ramah in  Shulchan Aruch EH 119:8.

CONCLUSION

There is no question that this topic is a matter of debate in the Poskim and Meforshim.  It is rather strange that the sources for it are rather obscure.  It is this author’s view that the Mitzvah may be viewed, in many instances, as a sub-category of the Mitzvah of v’Ahavta larayacha kamocha – no different than the Mitzvah of Bikkur Cholim – visiting the sick.

Rebuttal by emailimbatorah - Moishe Friedman

#2222003

Nowhere in Chazal, Bavli, Yerushalmi, Rambam, Tur, or Shulchan Aruch, is there any mention of the Mitzvah of מחזיר גרושתו.

In some cases, אין לך מצוה גדולה would apply to getting divorced and remaining so.
(not getting back together)

Category B & C are the same
I would suggest that the Tashbatz & R.S. Vidal meant that in cases where we can make peace between them then it’s better not to get divorced & also go back
after the divorce.

The term מצוה גדולה is a poetic term & all agree with the Chinuch that at times it is very appropriate to be מחזיר גרושתו