The doom-scrolling community is not happy.
From basement bedrooms across the US comes the muffled sound of huffing and puffing.
Reddit is ablaze with the anger of digital hysterics who haven’t seen sunlight in months.
Why? Because their most beloved conspiracy theory is coming apart at the seams.
The Jeffrey Epstein conspiracy theory — that all-purpose, fact-light morality tale about our decadent, venal elites — is falling apart.
What will the Epstein heads do now?
No sooner had the Department of Justice and the FBI poked a very large hole in the Epstein story than the internet was consumed by fury and moaning. These officials have concluded that Epstein did not in fact have a “client list” implicating politicians, businessmen and celebrities in a vast Caligulan regime of sordid sex parties.
And nor was he bumped off by some nefarious actor — Hillary Clinton, people say — while awaiting trial for sex trafficking at a correctional facility in New York.
No, he really did kill himself.
And just like that, the two pillars of this crazed fable have fallen down.



