I don't like complaining or playing the victim card, but I think occasionally it's important to share with the public the stress affiliated with my work because I do count on your support and encouragement to get by. I usually don't show it, but at times it's pretty unbearable.
Every single day I worry where the next attack or threat will come from. There are times where I obsessively have to check our security cameras and check on family members to see if they're ok.
I know people are accustomed to this and practically expect me to be the target of attacks, both character attacks and potentially physical ones. Friends ask me all the time what precautions I take to ensure mine and my family's safety. When I go around speaking in synagogues and other places I often get asked point blank “how are you not dead?” But none of this is normal, and it's sad that we expect so little professionalism and restraint from our opponents who are defending the status quo in the Yeshivas. My counterparts in other advocacy groups, such as Alliance for Quality Education, don't receive these threats (I think). My counterparts at Masbia don't face these threats (I imagine). Unfortunately to the contrary, it's people like the father & son Rappaport who attack me daily.
I have spent a lot more time on the phone and in person with police and detectives than I'd like to or than I should have to. And these things aren't clear cut. When you find the person who made a direct threat at you, you don't really get to celebrate or make an example out of them.
Like that time I got an explicit death threat in Yiddish in a voicemail. No one knows this part of the story: The police tracked him down to a home in Williamsburg. He begged me not to press charges, so I asked him to make a public apology. He wrote me a letter apologizing, but in it he begged me not to make it public because he's a divorcee and in his community that's already a huge stigma which would be exacerbated. What am I going to do? Ruin his life? He's a victim of the system.
Then there was an incident that happened a few weeks ago when someone emailed Yaffed and cursed me to get a disease and die a painful death. Many people saw that email. What you don't know is that less than 24 hours later a man by that last name showed up at my home while I was away and dropped off a strange little package of homemade food with my unsuspecting wife (who didn't know his last name matched the one of the email sender). The terror that I experienced when I got the innocent call from my wife that some nice guy dropped off food for me, and me realizing that other than that email I don't know anyone by that last name. So we spent Friday night filing a complaint with a police officer because we weren't sure what was in the food. The crazy thing is it may have been a fan, someone who meant well. And that's the most disturbing thing that we can't appreciate a good gesture (if it was). Again, there's no resolution to that mystery.
Then there's this “spokesperson,” Isaac Abraham (see pic) and his not-so-subtle threat. And the army of Twitter trolls, including an elected official from Rockland county, who share my pictures, my cell number, my former home address, my salary etc. Now they're going over old tweets and stuff. You wonder how much money they spend trying to dig up or fabricate dirt on you, to destroy you, so that you can't keep up your work.
If there's one person out there who can handle this kind of stress, I'm sure I've proven to be that person. But why should I have to?
Again, if we expect this from them, it's because we've gotten used to it and have a low regard for the community and/or its leaders. I, for one, don't accept the status quo, and I expect there to be a certain level of professionalism where we can argue and disagree on the issues without intimidating and attacking those advocating for change.
Sorry for the rant.
Share widely if you agree.
