After 120 years, you will leave this world of sheker and enter the world of emes.
After 120 years, you will leave this world of sheker and enter the world of emes.
You will be brought before the Beit Din shel Ma‘alah.
At first, you will see familiar faces—family, ancestors, those who came before you.
Then there will be silence.
The judges draw near.
Your entire life is revealed—your actions, your words, your intentions.
Not what you said in public,
but what you did in private.
There is no defense.
There are no explanations.
Only truth.
And you are asked:
What did you do with the Torah that was entrusted to you?
You were given Torah to refine yourself.
You used it as a shield.
You were given influence to uplift others.
You used it as power.
You were given access to people who trusted you.
You were given access to minds and souls.
That trust was not guarded.
You twisted hearts.
You manipulated those who looked to you for guidance.
You deceived, exploited, and led astray—
including those most vulnerable,
women who came to you seeking light and found shadow instead.
You lived in sheker,
dressing falsehood in the language of holiness.
The court says:
See how Torah was used not to sanctify the Name,
but to elevate the self.
See how fear of Heaven was spoken
while fear of sin was absent.
See how others were harmed
while Torah remained on your lips.
And your nivul peh—
woe to the mouth created for words of Torah,
turned into an instrument of defilement.
A mouth that deceives and seduces
degrades the Torah it carries.
The judges say:
Warnings were sent.
Moments existed to stop.
Paths of teshuva were open before judgment.
But you did not return.
You concealed.
You rationalized.
You remained silent.
And the burden of harm was left upon others—
the shattered hearts, the violated trust, the confusion sown.
You lift your eyes and see your parents and grandparents.
They do not shout.
They do not accuse.
They stand broken,
asking how Torah produced this outcome.
The shame of that moment exceeds all suffering known in this world,
for אין דבר נסתר לפניו—nothing is hidden before Him.
The Torah itself warned:
“Lo tonu ish et amito” (Vayikra 25:17).
Chazal are explicit: this is ona’at devarim—emotional harm.
Words.
Influence.
Manipulation.
Deception of the innocent.
This is judged more severely than theft.
Do not believe that external piety grants immunity.
Torah does not protect one who corrupts it.
It indicts him.
The Rambam rules (Hilchot Teshuva 3):
One who causes others to stumble while cloaked in Torah
endangers his share in the World to Come.
The Gemara teaches (Yoma 86a):
Chilul Hashem is not erased by time alone—
only by full and public repentance.
Teaching Torah does not excuse betraying Torah.
Even the adversary knows how to quote verses.
Know this clearly:
Harming a neshama is never private.
Exploiting imbalance, authority, or trust leaves a permanent mark.
The cry of a crushed soul ascends.
וצעקתם תשמע אלקים.
Everything built on falsehood collapses.
Mishpat Hashem emet, tzadiku yachdav.
The Judge is patient.
But the Judge does not forget.
Then your ego attempts to answer:
“I did teshuva.”
And you are shown what your teshuva truly was.
Not repentance—
but preservation of self.
Not humility—
but image management.
Not repair—
but silence dressed as restraint.
You are shown what was not confessed.
What was not repaired.
What you continued to benefit from
while claiming return.
You are shown every life disrupted.
Every year taken.
Every soul—especially those who trusted you most—
left carrying damage
while you moved on untouched.
And when you say:
“But what about the Torah I taught?
What about the people who became observant through me?”
You are answered:
Torah taught while others paid the cost is not merit.
Mitzvot performed while harm continued are not a defense.
Torah that leaves victims behind—emotional, spiritual, or sexual—does not rise;
it returns as testimony.
You are asked:
Do you mean the good done while harm continued?
Do you mean Torah used to outweigh lives you shattered?
That is not zechut.
That is contradiction.
The court falls silent.
For the damage was deep.
For the breach was willful.
For the misuse of Torah and authority was severe.
The judgment is so grave
that the court deliberates
whether correction is even possible.
For there are sins that stain,
and there are sins that disfigure.
You stand there without words,
knowing that what you called teshuva
was only ego refusing to fall.
Afterward, your children reach the end of their years.
They ask, “Where is our parent?”
They learn the truth.
They cannot see you.
They cannot learn Torah with you.
They cannot sit with you where truth resides.
There is no access.
There is only separation.
If redemption comes early,
you are not present then either.
This is not written to accuse.
It is written to warn.
Because authority without fear of Heaven destroys.
And Torah misused does not protect—
it records.
