DO VACCINATIONS HAVE A ROLE IN THE SHIDDUCH PROCESS?

DEAR MRS. ROSE, 

 Our daughter has recently started dating. She just went out with a very fine boy, and the first two dates seemed to go very well. On the third date the boy told her that he has never taken ANY vaccinations. He and his family are not anti-vaxxers, they just do not vaccinate. Our daughter was naturally taken aback. This information did not come out in our research. Then again, it’s not a question we even thought we had to address. We are a mainstream family and this concept does not enter our thought process. He did mention to her that he was told to reveal this information by the third date. When she asked him how did the other girls he dated react, he said, they dropped him like a ‘hot potato.’ Now this must have been going on for quite some time, as he is in shidduchim about two years. Why wasn’t this brought up before the shidduch started? What’s the point of him dating if he will be dropped? We are dropping him like a “hot potato” as well. Wouldn’t he be better off being transparent? Have you ever had a scenario like this? By the way he did mention to her that when he meets the right girl, he would consider getting all his vaccinations. Don’t know what he is thinking, he will not have a chance in our community to get that far. What is your take on this? Never Thought I’d Encounter This…. 

DEAR NEVER THOUGHT……., 

Yikes! I never thought I’d encounter this question either! Firstly, I must give this young man credit that he brought it up. He could just as well have kept it to himself, given that it isn’t an illness nor a condition. These days we have been very busy and open about vaccinations. I’m sure there were plenty of people years ago that didn’t vaccinate, and just didn’t talk about it. He knew he had a situation, he asked when to present it and was told to reveal it by the third date. He was just following protocol, as the premise is that there are some people that really won’t mind. So, we give life a chance!! Since he did say that maybe for the right girl he would consider getting vaccinated, why don’t you tell him to get vaccinated and then you can continue dating him. It may take a few months before he catches up with all his shots, but the wait may be worthwhile. Then we will surely know that the right time wasn’t when the shidduch started. For the rest of Klal Yisrael out there, just add another question to your shidduch info list. Does the family vaccinate? B’Hatzlocho Chana Rose P.S. Dor Yeshorim before the first P.S.S. By the way this is a true scenario that happened this week!!!! Email your questions for Chana Rose to Editor@thefjj.com

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