So far, what I am reading, is that the "rabbanim" are blaming it on the internet, Whatsapp and Tzneeyois!
They can't blame it on the IDF, because neither the guys nor the wives were ever in the army!!
But they are all barking up the wrong tree!!!
The reason why this is happening now in epic proportions has absolutely nothing to do with the internet or Whatsapp ....
The reason is very simple.....
Families are no longer being supported by the husbands but by their "professional" wives !!!!
There I said it ..... Whew !!!!!!
Years ago, a guy that wanted a life of Torah...... lived a life of Torah!! ...... he got by with the minimum .... and he brought up his family in a way that "gashmius" was only a fleeting phenomena and not important.... and made sure his family absorbed and enjoyed a life of "ruchniyois" ....they made do with little and their wives expected little ....
Today everyone and I mean Kollel families want to live the life!
Many Kollel families want their own home fully equipped with the latest appliances and gadgets and with up to date furniture designed by interior designers ... they also need to fly overseas for every simcha .. with entire families ..... witness the screeching babies on the planes! Restaurants are full with Kollel families... yes ... absolutely..
And they expect to go to hotels on Pesach and other Yomim Tovim!
Many now have cars and their wives are wearing the latest trends in fashion ......
All this costs money ......
The Roshei Yeshivahas had it all wrong!!!!!!!!!!
.... they advocated and convinced the Machaneches' of the Seminaries that they should brainwash their students, the Not "torahdike" idea that they must support their husbands if they truly want a Torah life and go to Olam Ha"bah!
They would point out how the wife of the Chofetz Chayim supported her husband with her store and tell them stories about other Litvishe "gedoilim" who learned all their lives supported by their wives and who shared in their Torah and their Olam Habah!
They failed to tell their naive "bug eyed" students that the rest of the men of the town, all worked...
What the Roshei Yeshiva and the Rebbetzines of the Seminaries didn't take into account, was that their students by in large come from affluent homes, and if they didn't come from affluence, they were and are, surrounded by affluence!
So in order to support the 2019 lifestyle, you need mucho shekels, to get it done....
To accomplish this, many young naive "vaiblach" sheep, got professional degrees, be it in law, accounting, speech, PT, OT, psychotherapist and special education degrees, online, or in girl only schools, and when they got jobs and started to work in their respective fields .... they got a culture shock...
that they were not at all prepared for ....
The Rebbitzenes who were running these "expensive" Seminaries ($25,000.00 a head) didn't prepare them for the professional lives and real life in the streets ..... or maybe they secretely hoped that they would all teach in schools...
But how many schools are there and how many classes are there compared with the number of teachers...????
And so the "vaiblach" met other professionals, other like minded "oif ge'klerteh" (open minded) men who they felt a kinship and had .....something in common with ...
oh oh!!!!!!!
Then they would run home, strip off their fancy dresses and suits, put on their "pundulaws" and tend to their snot nosed needy dirty toddlers, prepare supper for them and wait
wait ...... and wait ....
For whom did they "wait?"
for the "king" the "tzekvetchte" kollel husband to come home...whom she had nothing any longer in common with ...!!!
Resentment slowly but surely creeps into these marriages ....
the young "Vaibele" because she is bringing in the bucks feels that at work she is a princess and is interesting, while at home her kollel husband wants to share stories with her about his "chavruseh" who came up with a new "chidush" but has no interest in her professional life!!
But even if they decide to stay together both still crave a life of luxury ...no one is willing to live in poverty any more ....
So how do we solve this ???????
Tell the Rabbonim and Roshei Yeshivas that DIN has the answer....
GO BACK TO THE WAYS OF OUR GRANDPARENTS WHO ALL WORKED FOR A LIVING AND WHOSE WIVES,OUR GRANDMOTHERS, STAYED HOME TO TAKE CARE OF THE HOME AND WHO WOULD BRING UP THE CHILDREN THEMSELVES!!!!!
Hey Kollel guy want the good life and want your wife ...?
Go Work!!
You can't have it both ways .....
Save your children, your marriage ... your home...
Wake up!
But who are the "gedoilim" going to blame???
Whatsapp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So you saying keep the wives small and ignorant, dont give them extra knowledge and education, dont let them explore careers and opportunities. Let the wives continue working as full time moms and a full time bread winners but eliminate any tools that help them gain access to higher paid salaries or advanced positions.
ReplyDeleteAnd this, shall finally bring to end going otd or cheating.
And I thought it's all because of smartphones and WhatsApp. How disappointing.
P.s. let me share with you a little secret you may not know: when people take an exit off highway X in order to get to highway Y , its possible they switched highways because highway x would get them nowhere and as thinking adults they follow their desired destination. I know it's hard to understand this concept, but get this: just because you got on a particular highway should never be a reason to stay on it.
Both of my great grandfathers learned more then an average kollel bench kvetcher and had many businesses throughout their lives, before and a after the war. A life of Torah means that your respect your wife to be an Ezer Kinegdo a "helper",not the complete thing. You take charge and let her be a helper. These days, one parent being the bread winner is hard for larger households, therefore, we need the wife's help in finances. Every marriage has a steering wheel. Women tend to like strong men that give direction. No woman will stand a household without a driver. If the man doesn't take charge (with her input) she will unwillingly take charge and that's where the affair starts, out of desperation for direction, recognition and most of all pure love.
ReplyDeleteIs there any statistic on the employment/career or lack thereof of these women?
ReplyDeleteFake news
ReplyDelete1:19
ReplyDeletehttps://bshch.blogspot.com/2019/02/blog-post_7195.html
the problem really is caused by the division of labor in running the home.under these conditions the wife carried almost all the responsibility. she carries the baby for nine months and takes care of almost everyone and everything.she is totally exhausted both emotionally and physically, going to work gives her aplace where she gets respect working with people who also work hard and she gets lots of positive feedback from her peers. ofcourse any human being is going to move away from pain towards a situation that is less pain. although she does not do it with the hope of moving on it slowly changes how she feels about her home life. most of the men in these situations lack the understanding and skillto support there wives emotionally and otherwise, these couples must be honest with their situation and they must be brave to recognize the reality that long term only learning is not what is best for them,our leaders must stop preaching that this is the only way.they must start encouraging young men to open their eyes and see the long term learning at the expense of all the children is not the way to go for most of us,let us make the men proud working men who live an honest torah life and spend many hour in the bais medrash learning.let us look back at previous generations and see that great people chose this way of life.it is our rosh yeshinvas and girls hs and seminaries that must be forced to stop brainwashing our good young kids ,let them teach that working is a good thing,make them teach that torah middos honesty avodas hashem is the best way to go .we will see not only a change in this problem,we will see many happy successful boys who will make hashem proud
ReplyDeleteAll for the man made Torah
ReplyDeleteSit on you a$$ and keep you wife bare foot and pregnant. Big mitzvah to be a leach how can the ketuba be valid if the male sits in kollel and the wife supports him the stupid man made ketuba should be rewritten
This has nothing to do with her working or him working:) affairs happen in families of millionaires as well. Where he's the driver and she's the follower, as well as in homes where they have things in common. ONE main ingredient missing is RESPECT for each other along with proper communication.
ReplyDeleteDude, tou are one angry guy. Chill out a little before you stroke out!
ReplyDeleteYou have omitted an additional point, the kollel man comes home at lunchtime everyday for 3-4 hours, most of which is spent sleeping off his very difficult morning. The wives, who work all day to bring home the bacon and then work as a housewife all evening, resent their layabout husbands. This also applies to the women on low income jobs such as teaching.
ReplyDelete