When My Son Was Rejected From A Lakewood Yeshiva, the Public School System Welcomed Him

 

So this is a pretty vulnerable post, and I am happy I can advocate for myself.

My 8-year-old was removed from his school for behavioral challenges (the principal said he was not following directions or was disruptive). In February, we had a face-to-face meeting, and the principal decided that my kid should be removed from the school until he is eligible for their ABA program.

I was devastated.

How can a school just reject a child like that?

We were proactive and did what needed to be done to start the process—insurance, get the diagnosis, evaluate, etc. Suffice it to say, the whole process was extremely tedious and took 3 months to complete.

In the meantime, this is happening, and my kid is becoming more and more disengaged and withdrawn.

6 months went by, and we had no idea what to do. As a licensed therapist, I could see the potential risks already being observed by my now 8-year-old, and certain symptoms were concerning to me.

I had people advocating for me and calling the school and pleading for my son to come back temporarily while everything is being completed.

The principal did not budge.

We were rejected and dismissed.

We needed to get an assessment to rule out anything we can. We contacted our local Board of Education, and they guided us by having our son enrolled in the system.

When asked why this assessment needed to be completed, we had to tell them the truth.

Well, fast forward to a few days before, and my husband got a call for confirmation, and the person said that if we don’t enroll our child, the DOE would send a summons.

We did not get in trouble legally.

My kid, as a young 7-year-old, was being enrolled in public school.

I had very mixed feelings, but we know what is best for our child.

He was lacking, for a few months, the structure and routine. He did not have the social and emotional piece that was missing from school.

I could not sit back and watch my child suffer.

The first day happened, and he was nervous, but by the end of the day, I saw that glow on his face and smile. I was beyond happy to see what I was missing.

He was there for a month.

He was treated with respect as far as his observances.

I was so happy to see that.

Fast forward, he has been rejected by a local Lakewood school that I will not mention.

I write this not to offend people but to advocate for the system in general.

Once we were rejected, someone said, “Do you have pull?”

Why should someone have to plead or bargain for a school to accept their child?

I am all for rules, but I believe in authenticity.

I do not believe “dressing the part” is authentic for an interview.

We gave it our authentic selves, and to see us being rejected as well as dismissed is a horrible feeling.

People are afraid my kid will lose his Yiddishkeit, but I believe quite the opposite, as the foundation is in our home.

I do believe his sense of loss for his Jewish values is because of how he has been treated by other schools.

Will this system change?

Timing is everything, and I believe it is time to say goodbye to Lakewood.

I loved some of the people, but my kid’s happiness and values are a much bigger priority, and I do not think he will find them here.

I want my family to be loved and recognized for their true and authentic selves.

I write this to give a voice to the people who were also rejected or dismissed.

Thank you.

Name withheld upon request.